Is Your Divorce Case Going No Where in Court?
Sometimes divorce proceedings can become stalled. It mostly happens when two parties just cannot seem to see eye-to-eye on things and come to a decision. Two stubborn minded people have difficulties compromising.
Divorce proceedings can take months when this occurs. There are several measures that can be taken to prevent this from happening. One or both of you may not wish to back down, but sometimes it is the only way to move forward.
Going through a divorce is a difficult time for both parties. One party may be happy about the freedom they are about to experience while the other may be falling apart. The party falling apart may be emotionally hurt from a cheating spouse, which generates negative feelings.
Many couples try to go through divorce proceedings just with their attorneys. This rarely goes well. Attorneys fight hard for their clients. Ask a divorce lawyer for advice as to how to proceed faster. In most cases, a mediator is suggested.
A mediator can be assigned by the court. It is a neutral third party that does not know either of the people in the proceedings. They listen to both sides and offer suggestions for compromise or quick resolutions of issues.
Take into consideration that a mediator can cause the process to go a bit slower than you might like but it can put an end to a stalemate. Be open to what the moderator has to say. Discuss the options with your attorney and decide if their suggestion is feasible.
Even if you weren’t great with compromise during your marriage, now is the time to do so. This is what puts a hold on moving forward the most in divorce proceedings. When both parties are being equally stubborn or adamant, decisions are just not made.
Items that may require compromises to be made:
Visitation with children
Custody of Pets
Sharing of school vacation periods with children
Ownership of a home or vehicle
Division of monetary assets
Compromise about things with trade-offs if you have to. This could be something like giving one spouse custody of the family dog in exchange for an extra week with the kids during the summer. Get creative on things that you know can be worked out
Restructure the Agreements
If one party is getting more from the divorce than another, this can also cause things to be paused. Restructure agreements to split assets equally.
This includes items such as:
Funds from the sale of property
Dividing up the vehicles
Complete lists of wanted items from the home
Divide monetary assets equally
When you restructure these agreements, the other party is likely to agree to the changes. This can also be included in the compromising process and mediation. A mediator will be able to suggest a proper division to make all parties happy.
There may be items within child custody arrangements that are not suitable or agreeable for the other party. Consider reducing child support amounts and adding more visitations. This makes the non-custodial parent feel like they can be more a part of their children’s lives.
Give in to a few Things
There may be a few things that you just have to give into. This might be giving up one holiday with the kids or losing time at a vacation property as examples. To get things moving along so you can both go on with your lives, be willing to sacrifice.
Sacrificing is part of marriage and is also a part of the divorce process. If you are unwilling to give into a few things, you could be battling each other for a year. No one wants to drag on a divorce for that long.
Ask your attorney what items would be smart for you to give into and what items to stand your ground on. Let the attorney know what the importance of these items is. If it is something you can really do without, let the other party have the item or arrangement they want.
Simplify the Terms of Child Custody
When you have too many restrictions on child custody or visitation, the other party is likely to be unwilling to agree to the terms. The pickier the custodial parent is, the more likely their spouse is going to disagree.
It is important for a child to have both parents in their life. It does not matter if you all live under the same roof or not, both parents need to be accessible. You may not be able to be civil with each other on a personal level but you need to be when dealing with the kids.
Allow for changes to be made to the visitation schedule due to the demands from kids. If the mother is the custodial parent, they may ask for more time with their father. Both parties have to be able to accommodate that.
If the non-custodial parent is going to remain in the same general area, allow them to have the kids a couple of evenings during the week. Equal time, when possible, is often the best situation for everyone involved. The children should be able to go on vacations with both parents as well.
Never use the children as pawns during a divorce. Do what is best for them and don’t use them to get other things that you want from an arrangement.
Don’t be so demanding
If you want everything that the two of you shared during the marriage, you’ll never come to an agreement and will be in court forever. The less you want or have to have, the easier it is going to be. Decide what is necessary for your life and forget about the rest.
A divorce is an opportunity for you to start fresh with new furnishings, a new place to live and new lifestyle. Ruining the other person is just devious and doesn’t need to be done. Restarting life is much different than completely rebuilding.
The idea of a divorce is to dissolve a partnership. Both parties need to be left with the ability to live life and support themselves financially. One or both parties can end up feeling hurt and wanting to ruin the other. There really is no need for this. Take what you have to have and let them have some things too.
It is important that you try to remain as civil as possible. The more needy or devious you seem to be; the more reluctant the other party is going to be to work with you or compromise. Feelings of hate and hurt are common. Leave it at the door when it’s time to go into court or mediation.
The more civil both parties can be during a divorce, the faster it is going to go. It stops the proceedings from getting stuck and not going anywhere. The sooner you both agree on things, the faster the entire process will be over and you can move on with your lives.
Consider these items as you begin divorce proceedings. Remain amicable when possible and put the best interests of the children first when they are involved. Don’t be so greedy and just get it done and over with for the benefit of everyone involved.