I have made some good decisions in my life – and some really bad ones.

Perth, Scotland

And another view

 

I have made some good decisions in my life – and some really bad ones.  The decision to move back to Scotland and divide my time, renting a one bedroom flat in Perth for the winter and the West coast of Scotland – The Isle of Arran and environs – in the summers, will suit me just fine. I have no plans to visit London again – save for one visit later in the year. I will, of course, be delighted to see any friends who want to make a visit to see me. (I may have to rent a two bedroom flat.)

I will blog until I die – but I also plan to develop an interest in and skill in photography.  I enjoy painting – provided the paintings take no more than 30 minutes.  I was known as ‘Risotto’ when I was at Trinity College Glenalmond in Perthshire in my late teens – my paintings, many of which I sold, were always ready in 20 minutes and dry in 30.  I used fast drying acylics.

Now that I have deported myself back to my own country – I will be voting for Independence next time around! – possibly – I think I will be busier and more productive on the blog than before.  I will do what I can to alert you to matters legal, good law blogging by my many law blogging friends and comment on laws as I see them.

I am borrowing a camera – a good one – from a twitter friend and a very good photographer.  I now plan to buy a Nikon Digital camera. If anyone would like an advert on my blog for life and beyond (I am working on the beyond) – I’ll do a deal for the price of the Nikon and you may have as many guest posts as you wish and the advert for life. The Nikon camera is £296.00 with a bag. I’d say that my offer  is good value for an advertiser.  DM on twitter or email me if you would like to accept this offer.

 

Ex-MP and Barrister Jerry Hayes is on form, as usual, on his blog….

Jerry Hayes, ex-MP and barrister, a good friend who helped me with a tricky situation this afternoon, is one of my favourite bloggers.  
This recent post will give you a flavour of his style.  His blog is provocative and invariably amusing…

WHAT A GHASTLY, WHINING LITTLE SHIT ARMANI ANDY IS. WALLOWING IN SELF PITY AND CRYING FOUL BEFORE THE GAME IS EVEN OVER

22 Aug 2015 at 16:39

What a ghastly, whining, unprincipled little shit Armani Andy is. I would like to say that he is a thoroughly revolting individual, but as he has never ever revolted against his party I can’t. He is a loyalist and doesn’t want to rock the boat. But he will shove his nose so far up the party machine anal passage that sniffer dogs would have to remove his head. Wow, that shows great leadership. If, God forbid, this oily little chancer and greaser ever became Prime Minister we know that his Party would always come before his country. Now in true Merseyside mode he is wallowing in self pity and about to scream to the ref that he was robbed even before the result is in.

His ludicrous and overweening ambition has made him a laughing stock to be trusted by nobody. His credibility doesn’t much exceed King Herod’s job application to become a baby sitter. Even an old cynic like me feels a sense of disgust at the antics of this awful little man who oozes a misplaced sense of entitlement. And now he is doing a re rat Marc Anthony. ‘I come here not to bury Corbyn but to praise him’, as Shakespeare might not have written.

It is well worth reading Jerry’s  earlier posts – if you want a good laugh.  e often gets to the heart of matters – in his inimitable style.

Perth, Scotland – The adventure continues…a remarkable room cleaner – a fine lady!

I am currently staying at a hotel in Perth, Scotland – a very good, not expensive, hotel:  The Queens Hotel  The staff are superb – friendly and chatty.

Today I left my room to go for a walk.  I left my key in the room.  I was locked out.  Reception did not have a spare to hand.  A lovely woman – the room cleaner – a charming lady –  dealt with it in a quite remarkable manner.  She climbed up the outside wall of the hotel – I am on the 2nd floor – walked along the roof outside my room and climbed in through the open window.   Remarkable.  A lovely lady!  It is a fantastic hotel – run by lovely people.  I was both grateful and impressed.

If you ever visit Perth – do stay there and visit me at the same time!  I will, hopefully, have a flat soon. If I could afford it, which I can’t, I would simply stay at this hotel permanently!

In 1974 I was nearly killed breaking up a fight… I am pleased to be able to say… I wasn’t killed

When I was studying Law  at Leicester University in 1974 I came back to my student lodgings with a High Court Judge’s daughter , a  lovely young woman and a good friend, after seeing the film A Touch of Class,  to find that six students from Cambridge University, pissed, were kicking and injuring severely one of the residents of my student housing block on the floor of the kitchen.  I went into the kitchen and asked them to stop.  They would not do so.  They were pissed.  So I dissuaded two with a rare use of physical force. I made sure to dissuade and did not hurt them.  I made a point of not doing so.  I was then  a 2nd Dan Karate Black Belt – I went higher in later years –  so it was fairly easy. Unfortunately, I turned to find a third Cambridge University student behind me and he smashed a milk bottle into my face.  He nearly killed me, I was told by the surgeon.  He didn’t – but I lost all my teeth bar three. I still have a shard of  bone inside my skull, just above the eye which is 1/4 inch from my brain.  The surgeon asked me not to fall over, forwards, or have any more head injuries – because it could kill me, if I do! I’m still alive.

I remember to this day the sound of other rooms in the student block being locked by scared residents.  I will never forget that sound.  I don’t blame them.  They were sensible not to get involved.

I hate violence and particularly drunken student violence. 

Sir Fraser Noble, the Vice Chancellor of Leicester University at the time, a very kind man, came to see me in my room at Mary Gee, the University house where I was living.  I refused to stay in hospital.  I did not want to take up a precious hospital bed and got a taxi to take me home in the very early hours of the morning.

About an hour later, in the very early hours of a Sunday morning,  a Detective Inspector from Leicester Police came to see me to take a statement.  While we were talking – one of the thugs from Cambridge University of the night before burst into the room and threatened violence if I gave evidence.  He was duly arrested by the Detective Inspector.

The magistrates in Leicester were having an off day.  They gave the student who smashed a milk bottle into my face  a fine.  I cannot remember how much – £150?  The Police apologised.  The High Court judge whose daughter was a friend – a good friend – relayed the message that the Criminal Justice system did not work on that occasion.

The University of Cambridge, I was told later, dispensed their own punishment and sent all the students down from Cambridge. I think that was a far worse punishment.  I would not have wished that on even my attacker.

I have kept this to myself – save for a few good friends, for years. I loathe idiotic drunken violence.  Only cowards get pissed and hurt people.  I have no time in my life for cowards.

I only have three real teeth now as a result – but at least I am happy now that I am back in my own country, Scotland.  I had many good times in London.  But I have made the decision never to return to London for any reason.  It was not an easy decision as my brother and many friends are there.  But there are very good cheap buses to Scotland and I will be very pleased to see anyone I know who wishes to visit me when I finally get a flat. – when a client deigns to settle their invoice. I cannot do so until the bloke does!  I am still in a lovely hotel in Perth.

I have had a good life – I shall continue to blog.  I may even manage to shoehorn some LAW into this law blog of mine.  I suspect, however, that my readers – and I do have some visitors to the blog, thankfully, would prefer not to be troubled by me on matters of law.  there are many excellent law bloggers out there who can give them a ‘fix of law!

I’ve made a decision to spend the rest of my life back in the country I regard as the country where I am from – Scotland – to paint, take photographs, Talk to interesting people up here.

I’d like to thank all who have helped me and all who have supported the blog by advertising on it or reading it.  I shall, of course, remain in touch and would be delighted to see you up here in my real home.

I wish all who contemplate a career in law – all the best.  You will find some superb lawyers on Twitter, many of whom also blog.  They will give you advice. Many of them have been giving advice to students for years.  Have a look at my blog roll for the practising lawyers. They know a ‘thing or three’.

I hope you didn’t find this post depressing.  But I had to write it. The best professional event in my life was helping to found BPP Law School – a fine law school now, built up by Peter Crisp and his team.  Peter Crisp is a good bloke and friend and I have no doubt that he and his excellent team will take BPP Law School on well. I am proud of my early involvement. I’m a Scot and pleased to be back in my own country where I shall remain for the rest of my life.  I’ll be painting – probably, badly, taking photographs and blogging about matters that interest me. It may well be, after eating a egg & cress sandwich or eating an ice cream that I may be inspired to even write about law – mea culpa.

I am back where I want to be – in my own country and will blog until I die – which I hope will be some time in the future!

Bye for now!

AND… always remember… The  Romans knew a thing or two… consensus facit legem
Consent makes the law !

 

 

Perth, Scotland – where I now live

Perth1Perth (Listeni/ˈpɜrθ/; Scottish Gaelic: Peairt [ˈpʰɛuɾt̪])[4] is a city in central Scotland, located on the banks of the River Tay. It is the administrative centre ofPerth and Kinross council area and the historic county of Perthshire. According to the preliminary 2011 census results Perth, including its immediate suburbs, has a population of 50,000. Perth has been known as The Fair City since the publication of the story Fair Maid of Perth by Scottish writer Sir Walter Scott in 1828. During the later medieval period the city was also called St. John’s Toun or Saint Johnstoun by its inhabitants in reference to the main church dedicated to St. John the Baptist. This name is preserved by the city’s football team, St. Johnstone F.C.

The name Perth comes from a Pictish word for wood or copse. There has been a settlement at Perth since prehistoric times, on a perth2natural mound raised slightly above the flood plain of the Tay, where the river could be crossed at low tide. The area surrounding the modern city is known to have been occupied since Mesolithic hunter-gatherers arrived more than 8000 years ago. Nearby Neolithic standing stones and circles also exist, dating from about 4000 BC, following the introduction of farming in the area.

The presence of Scone Abbey, home of the Stone of Destiny where the King of Scots was crowned, enhanced the early importance of the city. Perth became known as a ‘capital’ of Scotland, due to the frequent residence of the royal court. Royal Burgh status was soon given to the city by King William the Lion in the early 12th century. The city became one of the richest burghs in the country, doing trade with France, the Low Countries and Baltic Countries for goods such as Spanish silk and French wine.

The Scottish Reformation also played a big role in the city with the sacking of the Houses of the Greyfriars and Blackfriars, after a sermon given by John Knox in St. John’s Kirk in 1559. The Act of Settlement later brought about Jacobiteuprisings. The city was occupied by Jacobite supporters on three occasions (1689, 1715 and 1745). The founding of Perth Academy in 1760 helped to bring major industries, such as linen, leather, bleach and whisky, to the city. Given its location, Perth was perfectly placed to become a key transport centre with the coming of the railways, and its first station was built in 1848.

The above is taken from Wikipedia

It is a beautiful city and very friendly people live here.  A different pace of life to London – and suits me just fine. It has changed in the 40 years since I was last here – but not much.

Disasters do happen

Disasters do happen
Danny Killen – SproutIT

April 1st 2015. 12:35. Several client sites start reporting Internet connections running slow. Multiple clients’ Uninterruptable Power

Supplies (UPS) start reporting loss of power. Nothing registering on the Internet. Another (New Square) client reports smelling

smoke, ironically, whilst on the phone discussing Disaster Recovery. Our Client Internet Partner updates client sites that there is

an Exchange issue with physical Fibre, BT engineers sent to investigate. First Twitter feeds reporting fire on Kingsway. Power

interruption to more sites, though some come back online briefly, only to go down again.

The above was the start of many hours, if not days, with no power, and days or weeks without their primary Internet connection

(most hopefully running on backup connections). Anyone who walked along Kingsway or around Lincoln’s Inn Fields in the

aftermath would have realised the extent of the damage caused. Entire backstreets have been dug up to replace power and other

cables, whilst huge generators littered the streets that were still paved. This was a very significant event and I have been wholly

impressed by the response of the various services. I had expected the disruption to last much longer, but fortunately for most, this

was not to be the case.

Now that we enjoy reliable Fibre based Internet connectivity, I am of the opinion that the most likely business affecting outage

will be due to an extended power cut, beyond the runtime of the UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supplies). Losing both power and

Internet is less likely to happen, but as we have seen, it does happen.

So, how does this affect chambers and what can we do to mitigate these risks?

1. Stay calm and hope the power and/or Internet turns on again soon

2. Have multiple Internet connections, each running to a different exchange, or a wireless backup technology

3. Have UPS supplies for onsite servers and all phone/networking equipment

4. Buy a generator?

5. Or implement a Disaster Recovery Plan that takes account of the risks to business continuity and plan to address each with

an appropriate action, or indeed acknowledge and accept the particular risk.

We all need an Internet connection. Even if you argue you don’t, your mail server certainly does. Sitting in the clerks’ room

without Internet is not the end of the world; assuming onsite servers, the Diary is still available and calls are still coming in.

However, as more communication is driven over email, what are the clerks missing? A Fibre Internet connection, from a reputable

provider, is very, very reliable. Always make sure that you have two connections out of chambers however, even if the backup is

ADSL.

The key services that we are trying to protect, from a clerks’ perspective, are access to Diary and phones. I would argue that

email now factors into those critical systems, which was not the case just a few short years ago when you asked clerks what was

critical to their operation. Members need access to files and email predominantly; albeit they need their clerks to tell them what

their schedules are in the coming days and weeks. Other barrister resources are now primarily available online though they

require you to remember website addresses, usernames and passwords, if you do not access them from your usual computer. This

can prove a challenge for the member of staff, or the barrister who manages these resources. Add these to your DR pack.

In order to remove a power cut from the list of risks to key services, you need to consider moving your services offsite to a

Datacentre. For even if you have a generator onsite in chambers, this is only likely to keep a few key servers and Internet running

along with (hopefully) your phone system. Those of you using IP phones will also need a generator supply to all the switches that

power the handsets sat on your desk. With a generator running you can pack up and head home, or to another location with an

Internet connection, to access chambers’ services. Without a generator you are merely counting down the few minutes, or at

best, few hours, until the UPS batteries deplete and shut down. I recently visited a site with 3 UPS power supplies, all of a

reasonable capacity to run the attached equipment for around an hour. That is, of course, if all 3 UPS supplies did not have alerts

showing that their batteries had failed – such alerts can, and should be monitored. A surprising but common occurrence.

Compare this with hosted or cloud services in a Tier 3 data centre: There are physically diverse power and Fibre feeds into the

Datacentre. These feeds are backed by rooms of batteries to allow multiple generators time to take up the load (pre-heated and

ready to automatically switch on). The diesel used to run them is monitored and the data centre will have at least one contract in

place for emergency fuel delivery on an SLA. Cooling systems are redundant (and keep running when mains power is off), and the

data halls are protected by advanced fire suppression systems. So, this addresses our power issue. Or, does it?

Barrister Article – Disasters do happen Page | 2

Where is your phone system? Where are your staff? How are the phones connected? Are you able to reroute your main number (or

fax) to an alternative during a power failure, or only if your ISDN 30 line fails (an ISDN 30 often carries the calls to/from

chambers)? What use are the dual screens sat in front of staff when the power goes off (this applies regardless of where your

services are located)? Do you have a charged laptop that is able to connect to the network or Internet to get to services? Are you

even permitted to occupy the building if the mains power is off?

For some of the above reasons, a number of chambers have reciprocal agreements whereby, if they must vacate their chambers, a

number of staff may relocate to the conference room of the other to continue working. I expect most will however arrive, ready

to work and find that many things will not work, as they are trying to access their phone system and servers that are located in

their chambers which now has no power. It is entirely possible to have a phone ready to plug in and work under these

circumstances. It just requires the phone system to be hosted (either your physical VoIP appliance, or use a hosted service) and

for both chambers to have the right Internet connectivity in place. This is where it gets interesting.

In order to have reliable access to hosted services on a daily basis you MUST have the right connectivity. The fact that you have

50Mb or 100Mb Internet connection matters little – not all Internet connections were created equal. What you do require is a

private and low latency connection direct into your core services that does not traverse the public Internet, and therefore does not

compete with other businesses or users, to get data to and from where it needs to go. With such a connection in place, you can

relocate your phone system without loss of function or reliability. It is also possible to have that same connection presented to the

chambers with which you have a DR relocation agreement. If your production or DR servers are located in the same location, you

have a fully functioning clerks’ room ready to switch on.

Is this going too far? I will let you answer that. Only to say that if you add together the hourly rate of your members, multiply

that by the 50% who are at their desks on any given day, and again by the number of hours it takes them to relocate (assuming the

servers are still powered on) then one usually comes to an answer fairly promptly.

You will have noticed the absence of terrorists, a chambers fire or flood, access exclusion or pandemic. These will all be on your

list of business risks, but hopefully in discussing power and connectivity I have covered the most probable causes of disruption to

chambers; to your business. And, don’t despair. If you have a fresh set of servers sitting in the basement, it is possible to have

your entire onsite server estate backed up to the Datacentre, ready for activation within 30 minutes – that includes all email

routing, mobile phone sync, remote access and any other required services.

To summarise. Dust off that DR plan and seriously consider what, if anything, it does for you. Consider the risks to your business,

the time that you can afford for various services to be down, and take steps to address those risks given your respective budgets.

It need not cost the earth, but it can cost you in terms of reputation and business if you fail to act.

Rive Gauche: Why not start Friday by laughing at a buffoon?

And just in case this particular buffoon needs help going home at night…he has a few Generals wearing quite extraordinary hats…

 

Now that I am back in Scotland – I will do my best to shoehorn a bit of law and legal analysis into the blog.  Fortunately, there are good lawyers out there with blogs who can do this without troubling me!

I’m off into Perth to see if there are any shops that can supply me with one of the remarkable hats above.  I suspect that my quest will be in vain – but I may well be tempted by a deerstalker hat.  I don’t stalk deer, but a deerstalker hat and my bright yellow glasses should ensure that local wildlife has a laugh and is entirely safe from being put into a sandwich by me.

Ex Tory MP and barrister Jerry Hayes is a good bloke…and always worth reading on his blog. You will laugh.

Ex Tory MP and barrister Jerry Hayes is a good bloke….  and  it is well worth reading his politico-legal blog.  This will give you a taste of his excellent analysis and writing…

Unless Jeremy Corbyn has been found tweeting in his Paisley pyjamas or caught shagging a royal corgi he will be kissing the hand of the Queen on the 12th September as a privy counsellor and Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition. And it won’t be an embarrassment for staunch republican Citizen Jezza. Ever since George V charmed Labour MPs with dinners and drinks at the Palace the Royals have have mastered the art of self preservation. I suspect that she will rather like him.

Trust me… I’m an academic lawyer… you will laugh.. a lot. Jerry is  a good friend to me as well and helped me out on a difficult non-legal situation recently !   (But if I ever did need a lawyer who can do the business – Jerry would be right up there!  Thankfully, I won’t trouble him on those matters)

PS – I’m still not sure if Jerry is a Tory (He was a Tory MP) – He has a take on life that defies political categorisation. …pleasingly.

 

Tweet du Jour – I marvel… Toby Young goes ‘Urbi et Orbi”…

I marvel.  I can’t quite work out if Mr Toby Young on Twitter – who has appointed himself as a pundit and commentator on matters political…and, in fact, as the mood takes him, to give of his Messianic style and knowledge to the World,  urbi et orbi,  to ‘educate’ the masses,  is a serious construct of his own imagination or a Spitting Image stylee parody of himself. .

I find his utterings both amusing and unbelievably tedious.  Do carry on, Mr Young.  I am sure the world needs your self  importance and your important ‘utterings’.

 

PS – I actually quite like him.  We need amusing political commentators who are ‘earnest’ etc etc.

Charon in a cap and yellow pullover…dressing in the dark again?

I may not be taking the Scots country look too seriously by teaming up a bright yellow pullover with a traditional Harris Tweed cap. I have a feeling that the deer will call their friends over to have a look at the old git in the cap who hasn’t quite ‘got the countryside deerstalking look’.  The black thing leaning on my shoulder is not a gun.  It is my new walking stick.

Ah well…. got to keep myself amused somehow….

 

I wake and feel the fell of day not dark – a new beginning.

I woke this morning in Perth, Scotland at 4.00 am.  It was still dark  – feeling the fell of day not dark…to deliberately misquote Gerard Manley Hopkins. I will remain in Scotland now, where I am from, if I am from anywhere after 40+ years in London. I was born in Accra, Ghana, nearly 63 years ago – not that I had any influence on that particular matter.

I intend to blog on many things – art, politics and I may even, as a ‘hint of my past’, blog about matters legal and, indeed, The Law.

I’m going to paint and take photographs and I’m going to read about art.  I’ve read a lot of Law over the past forty years.  I shall continue to read about law and, indeed, write about it – but I won’t be spending quite as much time on it as I have done in the past 40 years.  I won’t be returning to London.  My passport has expired and, frankly, having enjoyed a lot of foreign travel in my life, I can see absolutely no reason at all to renew the passport. I’ve never enjoyed being photographed – so, no more passport photos.

The sculpture above is in one of Perth’s main streets.  It is a wonderful piece of work.  I spent a good half an hour looking at it very closely.  A lot of talent went into the design and making of it.

I enjoyed my time in London – mostly.  It is unlikely that I will cross the border again to England.   The only countries that I would like to visit again are Italy and Zambia.

So – the first day of the rest of my life.  I find that rather a good concept.  It is good to be back in the country that I have always regarded as ‘Home’ – even though I haven’t lived here for 42 years.  I will be delighted if friends wish to visit me in Scotland – as I hope they will when they have the time.

It is quite possible, given that I continue to maintain that I write a ‘Law’ blog,  that I will able to shoehorn some LAW into the blog – English and Scots Law.

PS – I have also sold or given away every item of furniture and art from my past  – everything I own now can be fitted into a large suitcase on wheels, which is rather heavy to ‘lug’ about. I find that liberating. The rest of what I own is in my memories and I shall acquire memories from what I do in the next 20++ years.   I want to live a ‘simple’ life.  I will paint, take photographs, talk to people, walk and have some fun. There hasn’t been a lot of fun in recent years.

CRY FREEEEEDOM?

An unusual blog post…but I have a very unusual chair to sell…from HMS Bellerophon.

Now that I have moved to Scotland and starting again – I have given away much of my stuff and sold other items

I have one last item which I am selling – a chair.  It is an unusual chair.  The dealer in Chiswick who sold it to me 30 years ago told me that it came from HMS Bellerophon which was one of the ships at The Battle of Trafalgar.   The Battle of Trafalgar was 1806 but a young turk at one of the famous London Auction houses – no doubt wearing a snazzy suit, a blue shirt and a yellow silk tie with highly polished brogues, loftily told me that the dealer was clearly not ‘a professional’ . The chair, I was advised, was from HMS Bellerophon, probably from the Captain’s cabin, and was dated at 1860.

Frankly, I prefer to believe the totally honest and straight dealer at The Old Cinema in Chiswick , a famous seller of unusual furniture and other items who I had a lot of dealings with back in the day.

Whether it was at Trafalgar or not matters not. I have enjoyed it for 30 years.  I’ve moved to Scotland and as I live alone I only need one chair.

If you would like to buy it – I’ll sell at £100, rather less than I paid for it back in the day. It is a very comfortable chair.  Send me an email – email also on the blog top right.

chair2

 

Delighted to have SOLD the chair…

Inksters Solicitors are sponsoring This is Your Trial at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

I am a fan of Brian Inkster – and his creativity… His law firm Inksters Solicitors are sponsoring This is Your Trial at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It’s a Fringe-goers dream come true; a brand new improvised show, where top comedians play lawyers prosecuting and defending charges set against you. You decide the accused and their charges by simply filling in the charge sheet on the back of the flyer – no one is safe! The performers decide the arguments for each case. You decide their guilt. YOU are the jury!

 This follows on from a successful sponsorship by Inksters of the run of shows at last year’s Fringe and the previous year when Inksters’ founder, Brian Inkster, had his very own This is Your Trial show for one day at the Fringe. He was found not guilty on charges of High Treason for having his eyes on the Scottish, or was it Shetland, Crown.

With the cream of the comedy world already lining up to guest star, this year will no doubt put This Is Your Trial as one of the greatest and most unique comedy shows at the Fringe. With Marcus Brigstocke, Andrew Maxwell, Al Murray, Dane Baptiste, Angela Barnes, Tiernan Douieb, Jessica Fostekew, Deborah Frances-White, Amy Howerska, John Hastings, Trevor Lock, Caroline Maybey, Rachel Parris, Howard Read, Tiff Stevenson and Ahir Shah already confirmed to be QC and with Fringe favourites Thom Tuck, Jess Fostekew and Howard Read presiding over the proceedings as alternating Judges, what could possibly go wrong? This is original improvised comedy at its very finest!

Proceedings will be recorded by a court artist and a stenographer (tweeter!) selected from the audience. The Trial Inksters Scoreboard will keep a running tally of which comedy QCs have the most wins throughout the run of shows.

The show’s creator, David Allison, said “this is a show inspired by law, I studied it, love the practice of it, but love comedy a little bit more. Somehow I’ve found a way to combine the two. For a change, lawyers can come do jury service in our audience, poacher turned gamekeeper, or is it the other way around?

Brian Inkster said “Last year’s ‘trials’ at the Edinburgh Fringe went down a storm with some glowing reviews. It is great for the show to be back and for Inksters to be involved in it again. Lawyers are often seen as stuffy and boring. Inksters are very happy to counter that image!”.

 The shows are at 11.20pm each night from 5th to 30th August (not 17th) at Assembly Box, George Square.

Inksters are encouraging the audience to share the fun and post photos, quotes, comments or highlights online using #trialinksters, or email them to trial@inksters.com and Inksters will have prizes for the ones that tickle their fancy. You can follow the fun at trialinksters.com.

 TESTIMONIES FOR THIS IS YOUR TRIAL

★★★★★★★★★★”All rise for some proper off-the-rails anarchic humour and wit…Don’t miss the chance to watch some of the big wigs of the fringe” DAILY MIRROR

“The only court where the law isn’t an ass, but the lawyers are” AL MURRAY

“A genuinely inventive, intelligent, comedy creation” KATE COPSTICK

“With such strong comedians behind it (and such a strong production team behind them), This Is Your Trial ensures a solid night of comedy with a refreshingly unique format” EDUNCOVERED

And here is another F**kpig who kills animals – to get his rocks off? He is a disgrace. Remove his knighthood.

Sir David Scholey is a disgrace – killing wild animals for his pathetic ‘trophy’ cabinet is deeply unpleasant.  I do hope that the Prime Minister and The Queen will strip him of his knighthood. 

The Sun: MILLIONAIRE banker Sir David Scholey poses by the bloody corpse of a lion after shooting it for fun on a “trophy-hunting” holiday.Other souvenir snaps show the Tory party donor grinning as he stands in front of elephant tusks and antelope and buffalo skulls during a big game hunting trip to Zambia.

***

I know Zambia well – lived and worked out their in my teens and early twenties. Wonderful country – wonderful people.  I have never seen a lion shoot anyone – or, indeed, kill humans.  I have seen many lions in Zambia.  Unfortunately because of this guy who may have premature ejaculation problems or other problems – shot the lion to give himself transient pleasure and bragging rights.  Well – I suppose being a banker gives hom the power to ‘gird his loins’ and ‘kill lions’.  A disgrace.

I do hope The Queen shoots his knighthood…sorry..strips him of his Knighthood.

 

These ‘men’ are F**kPigs and just very stupid and should be ridiculed for killing unarmed animals

These ‘men’ are just very stupid to kill beautiful unarmed animals with a gun – the animals were no threat at all to them.  I have seen many rhino and elephants during my working time in the Bush in Zambia in the 1970s.  I felt no need to shoot animals, they felt no need to shoot me – and Rhinos and Elephants tend not to eat human beings – largely because they are not  that way inclined. They tend to eat grass and leaves from trees in the case of Elephants.  I haven’t even seen a rhino, or elephants for that matter,  nipping down to Nando’s for a chiceken Piri-Piri and chips. If I was hungry and wanted to eat some Chicken Piri-Piri – a local delicacy, went to a Chicken Piri-Piri restaurant.  I didn’t take a gun and some Nando’s Chicken Piri-Piri sauce and look for chickens to shoot.  Most people don’t shoot animals when they are hungry.  They go to Tesco – or, if they are ‘upmarket’…they go to Waitrose.

A very good friend of mine in days bygone – Viscount Dilhorne – a lawyer and fine opera singer (He taught revenue Law at the law school if was running)  – would, use his favourite word to describe truly stupid people…FUCKPIGS.  These two ‘men’ are, indeed, FUCKPIGS.  Lord Dilhorne’s sister is a former head of MI5  – Eliza Manningham Buller.  It is a great pity that she can’t use her former powers to extraordinarily rendite these two buffoons to Fucktardland – a land populated by idiots – often Americans, but also a few British and other nationalities.

And here I am in Largs wearing a cap that my cousin gave me for a larf…and it works in the rain…

There are  times in my life when I feel that I should not be allowed out without a Police escort (Pronounced “Pole – is” in a Glasgow accent).  This photo of me with a cap my cousin Ronald gave me yesterday. I wandered down the high Street in Largs and bought some chicken pieces from Tesco – cooked, fortunately.  Why? Because I am a gourmet .  My cousin told a famous popular music crooner and entertainer – Madonna –  that he wouldn’t sell his hotel on Arran to her. He is partial to Anglo-saxon expletives when needed…I understand that the expletive began with “F” .and ended with Orf…

But I am fitting in in Largs… I am not the only person wearing unusual headgear in Largs.  It rained when I was last out and there was a guy in his  fifties wandering about with a Tesco carrier bag on his head.  Did the business..

 

I am fairly certain that I shall be speaking like Fyfe Robertson – the famous Scots TV  journo of many years ago – soon.

Always pleasing to see that The Master of The Rolls and Chief Justice of England continue to catch imposter Lord Chancellors

Now that I have escaped to live the rest of my life in Largs on Scotland’s West Coast,  I shall use my best endeavours to bone up on Scots Law – but pleasing to see that senior members of the judiciary of England & Wales continue to capture Lord Chancellor imposters.  The latest imposter is Mr Michael Gove.

Mr Gove, when Secretary of State for Education said: “You wouldn’t tolerate an underperforming surgeon in an operating theatre, or a underperforming midwife at your child’s birth. Why is it that we tolerate underperforming teachers in the classroom?”

Michael Gove

The teachers and surgeons may well be under performing – but at least they know something about education and surgery.  Does Mr Gove actually know any law? Mr Grayling didn’t and still doesn’t after his period as an end of the pier turn as Lord Chancellor etc etc.

I suspect he knows even less law than the truly spectacular failure of Justice  Secretary and Lord Chancellor Imposter Grayling.  By the way… I am a bit out of touch.  Has Theresa May managed to deport Grayling to Calais yet to advise on the migrant problem. I  suspect that Grayling may have a view – anything, after all, is possible – even with Mr Grayling

Mr Grayling tried to impress with this statement reported some years ago

 

The weekend is upon us…watch out for the Yob Squirrel…and my escape from London

I am thoroughly enjoying my escape from London after 42 years – to Largs, Ayrshire on the coast.  I plan to take a ferry to the Cumbrae Island and walk around it.  It is not a big  island and it will be a fine walk.  I plan to go up Goatfell on the Isle of Arran nearby, soon.  I know Arran well and have gone up Goatfell  (874 metres) many times in my life.  One of my cousins had two very good hotels on the Island – Ron Stewart.  When he came to sell the hotel he put a notice in the local press to say that he would not accept Madonna or any other popstar buyers. Quite right!

Here is a newspaper report on my cousin Ronald Stewart about his refusal to sell to popular music stars.

Arran Estate Agents, the agency originally enlisted to sell the property, continued to market it but Mr Stewart’s unusual sales technique had caused it some problems. “Ron had already generated some wonderful publicity so the circumstances were different to most properties that we sell,” says Arran’s Bob Brass. “The first buyer didn’t want the high-profile presence in the media and when he dropped out the thing had lost momentum. We’ve had some very unusual phone calls. It started as great fun. We were receiving calls from some incredulous people. One girl called in the belief that it was Rod Stewart who owned the property.”

Alas, great fun wasn’t enough to sell the property and what started as a promising initiative failed to turn into serious interest. Had Mr Stewart’s humour frightened people off? Possibly. As Mr Brass told The Scotsman: “You could say the adverts are tongue in cheek, but I can assure you the sentiment behind them is heartfelt.”

Mr Stewart says: “I like Rod Stewart. And I’ve a lot of time for Cilla Black. But can you imagine if Madonna lived here? It would screw the island.”

I think dark humour runs in my family.  I agree with Ronald.  Good bloke. I have it on good authority – Ronald himself – that his actual words on Madonna were “Madonna can fuck off”.  He’s a good bloke,  Ronald – and now is very nearby given that I have been deported from London to Largs on The West Coast of Scotland.  In fact, The Glen Sannox takes about an hour to get to Brodick from Ardrossan down the coast It used to go from Fairlie where I lived as a young Charon. I had better check that the ferry does in fact go from Ardrossan.  Bit awkward to get to Ardrossan to find that The Glen Sannox doesn’t sail from there now.  I shall hit Google nearer the time..

 

 

Jerry Hayes, ex MP and Barrister, is a great writer and commentator and an amusing bloke…

DAVID MILIBAND IS A GUTLESS LITTLE POLITICAL PRICK TEASER. HIS DAY HAS GONE. TIME FOR HIM TO SHUT UP

3 Aug 2015 at 14:49

“God, David Miliband is an annoying little political prick teaser. Totally gutless, incapable of risk taking, and is desperate be be asked by the Blairites to come and save the Labour Party when Corbyn is defenestrated in 2018. Well, not even the International Rescue Committee can save Labour from itself. Oh David, if you hadn’t been so up your own privileged arse, treated your backbenchers like under keepers and stood up for what you believed in you might have just scraped a Labour victory. But what did you and what do you believe in? But the the Miliband era has gone. Firstly, you haven’t the courage to fight a by election and even if you did there is no guarantee that you would be selected. Which bed blocker is going to give up his seat on the distant prospect of a Miliband peerage? So either put up or shut up….”

Read the rest….it will make you laugh, whatever your political persuasion.  In fact, read the whole blog – it will keep you amused for days.

I have had the pleasure of podcasting with Jerry and having a few drinks back in the day.  He is a most amusing man. He is also a good bloke.  Still not entirely sure he is a ‘real Tory’ – but he was a Tory MP.  At a guess I’d suggest he is a very left wing Tory – with Liberal and Labour ‘tendencies’. Jerry will, I am sure, be able to convince me otherwise.  Do read the blog – you will laugh unless you are a member of The National Front or an undertaker on a mission to take the dead across the River Styx.

Inksters Solicitors are sponsoring This is Your Trial at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Inksters Solicitors are sponsoring This is Your Trial at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It’s a Fringe-goers dream come true; a brand new improvised show, where top comedians play lawyers prosecuting and defending charges set against you. You decide the accused and their charges by simply filling in the charge sheet on the back of the flyer – no one is safe! The performers decide the arguments for each case. You decide their guilt. YOU are the jury!

 

This follows on from a successful sponsorship by Inksters of the run of shows at last year’s Fringe and the previous year when Inksters’ founder, Brian Inkster, had his very own This is Your Trial show for one day at the Fringe. He was found not guilty on charges of High Treason for having his eyes on the Scottish, or was it Shetland, Crown.

 

With the cream of the comedy world already lining up to guest star, this year will no doubt put This Is Your Trial as one of the greatest and most unique comedy shows at the Fringe. With Marcus Brigstocke, Andrew Maxwell, Al Murray, Dane Baptiste, Angela Barnes, Tiernan Douieb, Jessica Fostekew, Deborah Frances-White, Amy Howerska, John Hastings, Trevor Lock, Caroline Maybey, Rachel Parris, Howard Read, Tiff Stevenson and Ahir Shah already confirmed to be QC and with Fringe favourites Thom Tuck, Jess Fostekew and Howard Read presiding over the proceedings as alternating Judges, what could possibly go wrong? This is original improvised comedy at its very finest!

 

Proceedings will be recorded by a court artist and a stenographer (tweeter!) selected from the audience. The Trial Inksters Scoreboard will keep a running tally of which comedy QCs have the most wins throughout the run of shows.

 

The show’s creator, David Allison, said “this is a show inspired by law, I studied it, love the practice of it, but love comedy a little bit more. Somehow I’ve found a way to combine the two. For a change, lawyers can come do jury service in our audience, poacher turned gamekeeper, or is it the other way around?”

 

Brian Inkster said “Last year’s ‘trials’ at the Edinburgh Fringe went down a storm with some glowing reviews. It is great for the show to be back and for Inksters to be involved in it again. Lawyers are often seen as stuffy and boring. Inksters are very happy to counter that image!”.

 

The shows are at 11.20pm each night from 5th to 30th August (not 17th) at Assembly Box, George Square.

 

Inksters are encouraging the audience to share the fun and post photos, quotes, comments or highlights online using #trialinksters, or email them totrial@inksters.com and Inksters will have prizes for the ones that tickle their fancy. You can follow the fun at trialinksters.com.

 

TESTIMONIES FOR THIS IS YOUR TRIAL

★★★★★★★★★★”All rise for some proper off-the-rails anarchic humour and wit…Don’t miss the chance to watch some of the big wigs of the fringe” DAILY MIRROR

“The only court where the law isn’t an ass, but the lawyers are” AL MURRAY

“A genuinely inventive, intelligent, comedy creation” KATE COPSTICK

“With such strong comedians behind it (and such a strong production team behind them), This Is Your Trial ensures a solid night of comedy with a refreshingly unique format” EDUNCOVERED

 

***

 

I am a fan of Brian Inkster – an enthusiastic man and keen blogger – and he is guilty of those qualities.  The This IS YOUR TRIAL series by David Allison and friends is excellent.  I was found guilty at one of their trials some time back.  I still have the T-shirt.  It is good to be guilty…sometimes. 

“Hypnosis and business” I hear you say dubiously “and how does that work?”

“Hypnosis and business” I hear you say dubiously “and how does that work?”
Mike Parker

“I can’t see hard headed business people being the least bit interested in something like hypnotherapy. Just the word ‘therapy’ would be enough to put them off with its implication that everything might not be absolutely perfect with them”.

Indeed it is hard to think of anything that would be more likely to make many business people cringe than the idea that they might be in some way deficient. However if it is thought that insight, intuition and great solution development are traits worth developing then the ability to go into a trance state is a big benefit.

Since the mid-1990s it has been possible through the use of PET and MRI scanning to establish that the trance state is very similar to rapid eye movement sleep (REM).

Interestingly experimental work has shown that in trance and REM states the brain is actually using up to 4 times as much energy as doing mental arithmetic or other similar conscious activity.

On Einstein’s school report his teacher had written “appears to spend most of his time in a daydream”. We now know that daydreaming is actually a form of trance. In fact we tend to jump in and out of trance 75 times a day or so.

If you have ever driven home and not remembered how you got there then you have been in trance. We access REM states all the time for various reasons .Itisclear that REM states are implicated in being able to use far more of the brain than is usually the case, in developing solutions to problems although this may happen at an unconscious level.

During sleep the REM state makes up about 20%. Part of its function is to neutralise emotional and psychological stress accumulated during the day. If a person is subject to too much stress this period of REM during ordinary sleep is not long enough to process all the stress, meaning that they commence the following day with their stress levels already partially up.

For people working in busy high-pressure environments is easy to see that the ability to allow themselves to sink into an REM state at will in order to reduce stress and rejuvenate themselves during the day will lead to better decision-making, improved health and welfare for staff and increase productivity. That is without taking into consideration the very real increase in problem solving and solution creation capabilities that being able to enter into an REM state can offer.

So when I say “hypnosis and business” and you look slightly sideways at me I follow it with “get informed and try it out. Business needs to be more conscious”.

See Mike Parker’s blog

 

And here is a book you may find interesting…”Typo”

Typo

Frances lives in Perthshire and has met lots of people once, including Leonardo Di Caprio. She studied criminology, philosophy, history and history of art at Edinburgh University. She hopes this 40-year-old bipolar book will give her another upwardly mobile holiday. She likes getting engaged, interior design, painting, photography, Roald Dahl and recycling. This book is for you if you’ve ever wondered what magic is. The author once completed the Tour de France when she beat Lance Armstrong with a milkshake. There are autistic and PTSD elements. This book was written after a dream about Alan Bennett.

Here is the Amazon link 

 

Clare Rodway’s The Conversation blog is excellent and always worth reading.

Clare Rodway’s The Conversation blog is excellent and always worth reading. Clare has eclectic interests and her pieces are always enjoyable to read.

Here is her latest post..

MishconsElliot Moss believes Action Leadership speaks louder than Thought Leadership. Chatting over coffee at theHolborn Dining Room (clearly his second office, the staff are so familiar and slick in how they usher guests to his table), I’m struck by his energy and his lack of fear for anything new. Indeed his hunger for it.

It was a passing comment he made at our previous chance meeting that had stopped me in my tracks and inspired me to coin the phrase “Action Leadership”. And that also prompted me to invite him to interview for The Conversation….”

Do have a read of Clare’s blog – I am confident that you will enjoy doing so.

 

The escape from London to Largs, Ayrshire, Scotland is complete

After a surprisingly good journey from London to Largs – where I shall live out my life

 

– I arrived refreshed and ready to enjoy the pleasures of a wet and windy Largs.  I like rain, so this was fine by me.

I took a bus from Victoria – a great deal cheaper than a train fare and the journey was excellent. The bus was very comfortable.

So, after a walk on the sea front – a short sleep, and on with the next ‘forty’ years…

I have visited the famous Nardini cafe on the sea front and have had a very upmarket Co-op salmon and egg sandwich.

Brian Inkster  of Inksters drew my attention to the piano in the picture above.  I assume that it is not Brian tickling the ivories – but, frankly, nothing would surprise me with Brian – he is a polymath and has many talents! I am looking forward to meeting up with Brian soon and, indeed, some other very interesting people, including a former Scots  Labour MP.

In other news…

Sword maniac goes on rampage in Largs and smashes police car as armed response teams are called in to halt drama.  

Although I used to have a replica Samurai sword, a katana, and did Kendo back in the day.  I am pleased to be able to confirm that the episode with a sword had nothing to do with me on my arrival in Largs today.

 

H M The Queen – marvellous photograph and Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo is reflective…

I like this photograph.  The composition is excellent and the clever use of a black background and four views draws the eye and the eye lingers on it.

cardinalcharoni2augAnd… not to be outdone..here is one of Charon QC’s Italian cousinsCardinal Charoni di Tempranillo in a reflective pose with a red hat on – under which he keeps a bottle of red. In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti  as he often says when he pops over for a smoke.  When I say ‘he pops over’ he likes to think he lives in Italy, but, in fact,  he lives in Soho at Little Italy…I am advised by the Metropolitan Commissioner who keeps an eye on him.  The Commissioner remarked, acerbically, Charoni di Tempranillo is quite easy to keep tabs on – it is the red hat, it helps us greatly when we look at all our CCTV footage and Crimewatch reports to see if we have actually caught any law breakers this week.

 

I am sitting in a hotel room in Holborn keeping myself amused by blogging and watching BBC news – before my escape to the North and thence to Scotland…the wifi is working…the plastic card which is used to gain entry to the security doors on the 4th floor and my room is not that good.  It doesn’t always work.  I have had four cards given to me.  The hotel manager smiled wryly – politely, even – when I remarked, enthusiastically, to cheer him up – that we could do with Jack Nicholson to visit with his axe.  He knew how to get into a room.

Rive Gauche: Calais comes home: UKIP rejoice!

Calais comes home: UKIP rejoice!

I take pleasure in posting Jane Fae’s post in full – made me laugh… Well worth looking at Jane’s blog!

Foreign Ministries across Europe were today stunned by news that France will, with immediate effect, hand Calais back to the United Kingdom.

This appears to be a response to the latest random outburst from UKIP MEP and professional bigot, Roger Helmer, who tweeted: “Calais was British until 1558. Maybe it’s time to take it back”.

Whining Brits

Speaking from the Elysée Palace, late Saturday night, President Hollande told an astonished press corps: “Calais: it is a bit of un shithole, n’est-ce pas?

“Ever since we took it over it has been nothing but trouble. If it’s not English ‘ooligans over on their bloody £1 daytrip excursions, throwing up in the aisles of the local Carrefour, starting fights with the locals, it’s all these migrants!”

“It costs an absolute packet, but do we get any thanks from the British press? Pas un saucisse!

“If les Britanniques think they can do better, they are welcome to try!”

French wines

d'yquem
The President is understood to have made his mind up following intense discussions with Prime Minister Manuel Valls and Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve. Also present were several bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon and a Chateau d’Yquem 1990, which all agreed was rich, full-bodied and dense: perhaps the finest wine of its decade.

M. Hollande declined to provide further details of his decision. Asked later how this transfer might affect the Presidential aspirations of Marine Le Pen, leader of France’s right-wing Front National, and a candidate for the Pas-de-Calais region in recent elections, he is believed to have sniggered.

Swapsies

Following initial incredulity that anyone, anywhere, would take Roger Helmer seriously, international diplomats have been busy. Germany has asked Poland if it would mind returning Gdansk: Russia wants Alaska back; and Nicola Sturgeon has emailed David Cameron to say Berwick is definitely Scottish.

Corby pressé

Meanwhile, in a last ditch effort to balance its budget, Northamptonshire County Council is offering Corby for sale on EBay.

Rive Gauche: Airheads or are these women just idiots?

One of the interesting thing about  animals…they tend not to have guns or inborn stupidity like these two ‘brave’ women.  I am all for arming animals with guns – self defence? It is unlikely that an animal will kill for amusement.  They tend to kill for food.  We do that as well – but we tend to leave it to Tesco et to organise the dead animals into convenient packaging.

The airhead pictured above ‘could’t be any happier’.  I marvel. Unfortunately, the dead giraffe who had no intention of killing her is not so happy.  The giraffe is dead…very dead. I am fairly sure that the giraffe could speak and write better English than the airhead above.

Rive Gauche: Too big to Jail?

I will be back later to write about matters legal, lawful and about law (the last is, I have to admit, unlikely)  – but I have some menthol Marlboro fags and they just need a bit of attention. They like to be smoked by an aficionado .

I am staying in a hotel near King’s Cross before I escape to Scotland. I am enjoying it.  Good staff – most helpful. Had problem getting onto their Wifi system…appears to be sorted now. The internet is now working – although the plastic key card to work the doors doesn’t work – so I simply appear in reception and ask if they can let me in.  Other guests have similar problem with lock on my floor and we try to assist each other by letting each other in.  It would, after all, be inelegant to simply run at the door and hope that the door opens with the impact.

I think I shall have a walk to get some lunch supplies… a piu tarde