TOP SECRET / PARTNERS ONLY
From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner, Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops
RE: OPERATION PHARAOH – POSITIONING LEGAL SERVICES IN THE NEW EGYPT
1. In the wake of events unfolding in Egypt in the last week, from intelligence received from the many, varied and newly minted Egyptologists now broadcasting their views, opinions and thoughts about developments in Egypt on Twitter, I have employed a specialist in information dissimulation and he will be deployed ‘undercover on our behalf’ (Pictured right) to offer advice to US and UK law firms in London on the opportunities available to lawyers in what may well turn out to be a new Egypt. The reasoning behind this deployment is straightforward: The less well informed other law firms are about Egypt, the more likely our own offerings to the Government of Egypt, however constituted, will, be. We have been fortunate in being able to take advice from an ex-television station reporter on the traits, knowledge and, most importantly, the dress effected by expert media Egyptologists, to ensure that managing partners of London firms will feel ‘comfortable’ with their decision to take advice from our operative on matters relating to Egypt. At the moment, we are calling our operative Jamie Ramses; the ‘Jamie’ element providing the right class note and, ‘Ramses’ providing that subtle Egypt credibility touch.
2. At this stage, our Psyops unit has not been able to determine (a) whether President Hosni Mubarak will be turning up in Knightsbridge to open a department store with the $25 Billion he is reputed, by the United Kingdom free Press, to have salted away or (b) will continue to govern. Curiously, not even the United States State Department or, indeed, our own Foreign & Commonwealth Office, were able to give any guidance on this – although The Foreign Office spokesperson at their outsourced call centre in India, who had a very curious nasal Yorkshire accent, did tell us that the prime minister said it was not in anyone’s interest that people are being killed in Egypt ( which they discovered via @Piersmorgan on twitter – a verified personage) and that we should not travel to Egypt unless it was absolutely necessary for us to do so to interfere in the sovereign affairs of an emerging democracy.
3. Partners may find some comfort, in terms of our dealings with US law firm competitors here in London, that our cousins across the seas do not have a particularly strong grasp of geography according to a Fox News map from 2009 – so we shall do all we can to encourage our competitors to go to Egypt, as depicted on this map, so they can enjoy a warm welcome from the Iraqis. While I appreciate that Partners will be well aware of Egypt’s geographical location, I do like to leaven my Briefing Papers with a bit of light relief, and the Fox News map is pictured below. It may be a hoax net post, of course, but I hope that some of our competitors will accept the provenance.
4. Events continue to unfold. I don’t think we will see, however, a repeat of the British Government response to The Suez Crisis in 1956. That would be too much to hope for. I shall keep you informed
Dr Erasmus Strangelove
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