Breaking News: Clegg announces a new type of Boy Band

NICK CLEGG TALKS TO ZAPPA ‘SLOWHAND’ CHARON, MUSIC EDITOR, TIME ORF

Zappa ‘Slowhand’ Charon: OK…Nick…. Take it away….coooooooool and easy……… go buddy…..

Clegg: We have formed a new band

More importantly than anything else, we have formed a new kind of boy band

I hope this is the start of a new kind of band I have always believed in.

Diverse, plural, where good looking young hot guys with different points of view find a way to work together to provide the good entertainment  the whole country deserves.

That was what we were asked to do by the people of Britain in the Final of Britain’s Got Talent and that is what we will deliver.

I want to thank David for the very open, constructive and workmanlike way in which we have come together to make this happen and how we can make music  together in this coalition band.

We are obviously good looking hot guys from different parties

I believe we are now united in seeking to meet the immense challenges that now face the country and to deliver a fairer, better entertainment for  Britain.

Of course there will be problems along the way; of course there will be glitches.  Simon Hughes….sorry… Simon  Cowell may desert us….. we might not get a record deal, or, indeed, anything out of any value in time for Christmas.

But I will always do my best to prove that new music isn’t just possible – it is also better than watching a dancing dog with leprosy on the make to get your votes…

I’d like to say something directly to the nearly seven million people who supported my last band The Liberal Democrats in the run up to the Final last week……  hahaha… you took it hook line and sinker… and now I am Deputy Prime Minister in the biggest Boy Band in the Britain….

I am now acutely aware that I carry your hopes and aspirations and that Beaker and Vince will always be backing singers

I am sure you have many questions, maybe many doubts.

But I can assure you I would not have joined this Boy Band unless I was genuinely convinced it was a unique opportunity to deliver the changes you and I believe that I fully deserve…

7 thoughts on “Breaking News: Clegg announces a new type of Boy Band

  1. Nice one Charon! Of course, precisely what the country asked for is not entirely clear and will be debated for some time to come.

    I don’t know exactly where this boy band is heading and they do all seem to be boys of a certain type – smartly dressed, tidy hair, smooth-talking etc. [Rumour has it there is the odd "groupie" following the band]. The band has made a good start (IMHO) and still deserves a fair wind.

    Nevertheless, the day will come when the Lib Dems (who 7m voted for) will realise that they had better resume being a party in their own right again or they will lose their separate identity and many of those 7m votes might then disappear in the direction of yet a further new band called “Newnew Labour” under the lead guitar of one David Miliband (or similar). I predict that around mid 2012.

  2. don’t be ridiculous, charon – boy bands are random collections of useless tossers artificially constructed behind closed doors by some svengali for their own ends. their members have nothing in common beyond a shared lack of talent and an addiction to being in the public eye.

    the only people fooled by that kind of marketing hype are the foolish and the desperate who mindlessly pour their own hard-earned cash into the already over-rewarded boys’ coffers to secure a worthless product they hope will somehow make their sad unfulfilled lives a little less so. they are inevitably disappointed.

    now how on earth do you consider this relates to the coalition? get a grip, man!

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