Postcard from The Staterooms: Ingerland fail edition

Dear Reader,

It occurs to me, being a Scot, that Rabbie Burns’ famous poem To a Mouse would be appropriate to celebrate the panache, style, elan and passion demonstrated by the Ingerland team as they disappointed, yet again, a nation of optimists.  The English translation follows…

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee,
Wi’ murdering pattle.

[Small, sleek, cowering, timorous beast,
O, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With hurrying scamper!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.]

The good news is that all the hyperventilation and hyperbole about ‘OUR BOYS’ will die down.  I have enjoyed the World Cup – the tweets, the hubris….. the schadenfreude  (Particularly the Schadenfreude – a rather good German word)  It’s just a pity that Ingerland aren’t very good at playing football as a team.  When the German goal keeper kicked the ball up field and a German player ran after it, unchallenged in any meaningful way by defenders,  and kicked it into the Ingerland goal, I marvelled. It just got more and more surreal after that. Someone on Twitter said that a Labour MP blamed the Coalition CUTS for the lack in the English defence.

I do feel sorry for the fans – especially those who spent a lot of money getting out to South Africa.  I think there should be a class action to sue the English FA for misrepresentation, deception, passing off and, indeed, badly and perhaps we could even chuck in a bit of nervous shock mixed with  Rylands v Fletcher.  Some of those German players who escaped were pretty dangerous.   That would be new law, but good law!

I even put my Admiral avatar on for the occasion.  I end my coverage of this lamentable World Cup with this…

Back to law tomorrow……

Not all bad though.  England Cricket Team beat Australia in the One Day International and win the series 3-0.  Perhaps The Ashes in Australia is a realistic proposition?

Best, as always


2 thoughts on “Postcard from The Staterooms: Ingerland fail edition

  1. I thought your use of the great Rabbie Burns most appropriate. I am a great fan of the man as we share a birthday and he also wrote a lovely poem about Lesley. All pure coincidence of course but makes me like him all the same.

    I am from Northern Ireland and have an affinity for Ireland and Great Britain being more of a lover than a hater. I did want England to do well at the tournament, if only because they have the talent to do well. However, that they did not do and it is appropriate now that they are going home.

    I agree, the hyperbole will die down but not until the tabloids have a few crass headlines and stories from the ‘inside’ to provide some kind of rationale for the poor showing. A pity that it seemed obvious that they didn’t play as a team and there isn’t much more explanation required?

    I do hope that the English cricket team does get some coverage tomorrow to make up for the other stuff. It may also push the Ireland rugby team’s performances in the southern hemisphere out of the papers altogether and that would, for me, be a good thing. I watched them and really don’t want to read too much about it as their three losses did make me sad.

    Love your blog!


  2. At least being beaten by Germany saved England from the greater humiliation of a serious thrashing by Argentina. Shouldn’t there be some gratitude on the part of the English for this small mercy?

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