RE: Charon QC v David Cameron – Breach of Contract

This is my emailed reply to David Cameron’s Contract email to me (Exhibit A below)

Dear David,

Thank you for the contract.  Thought you did OK on telly last night.

I write to ask if you would prefer to settle my claim for breach of contract now, and save court action (thereby reducing the deficit) ?

Do let me know what sort of figure you have in mind and I’ll mull it over.

Good luck in the election…. I say that to all the ‘Boys’ !

Best, as always

Charon QC

I append the Contract (Exhibit A) below.  I am looking forward to receiving a useful sum which I shall spend on a libation and, possibly other earthly pleasures.  It is only a pity the email did not call into question my parentage or refer to bigotry.  I was, however, delighted that he said I could have access to ‘all the drugs I need’.  I’m not, however, that keen on feeding myself plant food or horse tranquilisers. I shall write to David and see what other drugs he has which might be of interest. I quite fancy a spot as Home Secretary… and as he has a vacancy because Basil Grayling-Fawlty is, clearly, not up to the mark, I’ll offer myself – given that I am now accepting his invitation to join the government. (See below) But there we are… one can’t have everything in life.

EXHIBIT A

Email from David Cameron to Charon QC

Dear Charon QC,

At the start of this election campaign I invited you to join the government of Britain. My message was that we’re all in this together, and we’ve got to stop pretending that government is the answer to every problem.

So during this campaign I’ve been talking about the new, active part I hope people will play in making the country better and building the Big Society.

Now, as we get into the final week of the campaign, I want to set out our side of the bargain in a contract with you. This contract – as you can see below – is a no-frills, no-nonsense commitment to do some very specific things if you vote for us.

With trust in politics at an all time low and people tired of politicians breaking their promises, this contract couldn’t be clearer. If we don’t do the things it sets out, if we don’t deliver our side of the bargain: vote us out in five years time.

P.S. This is a contract between the Conservative Party and every person in the country – please do make sure your family and friends see it by sharing this email with them.


A contract between the Conservative Party
and N Charon QC

We go into the general election on 6 May with trust in politics and politicians at an all-time low. And I can understand why: the years of broken promises, the expenses scandal, the feeling that politicians have become too remote from the people – they’ve all taken their toll. That’s why I’m making this contract with you.

For too long, you’ve been lied to by politicians saying they can sort out all your problems. But it doesn’t work like that. Real change is not just about what the government does. Real change only comes when we understand that we are all in this together; that we all have a responsibility to help make our country better.

This contract sets out my side of the bargain: the things I want to do to change Britain. But it also makes clear that I cannot do it on my own. We will only get our economy moving, mend our broken society and reform our rotten political system if we all get involved, take responsibility, and work together.

So this is our contract with you. I want you to read it and – if we win the election – use it to hold us to account. If we don’t deliver our side of the bargain, vote us out in five years’ time.

We will change politics

Our political system needs to change. Politicians must be made more accountable, and we must take power away from Westminster and put it in the hands of people – individuals, families and neighbourhoods.

If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

1. Give you the right to sack your MP, so you don’t have to wait for an election to get rid of politicians who are guilty of misconduct.

2. Cut the number of MPs by ten per cent, and cut the subsidies and perks for politicians.

3. Cut ministers’ pay by five per cent and freeze it for five years.

4. Give local communities the power to take charge of the local planning system and vote on excessive council tax rises.

5. Make government transparent, publishing every item of government spending over £25,000, all government contracts, and all local council spending over £500.

We will change the economy

Gordon Brown’s economic incompetence has doubled the national debt, given us record youth unemployment, and widened the gap between rich and poor. Unemployment is still rising, and this year we will spend more on debt interest than on schools. We need to get our economy moving.

If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

1. Cut wasteful government spending so we can stop Labour’s jobs tax, which would kill the recovery.

2. Act now on the national debt, so we can keep mortgage rates lower for longer.

3. Reduce emissions and build a greener economy, with thousands of new jobs in green industries and advanced manufacturing.

4. Get Britain working by giving unemployed people support to get work, creating 400,000 new apprenticeships and training places over two years, and cutting benefits for those who refuse work.

5. Control immigration, reducing it to the levels of the 1990s – meaning tens of thousands a year, instead of the hundreds of thousands a year under Labour.

We will change society

We face big social problems in this country: family breakdown, educational failure, crime and deep poverty. Labour’s big government has failed; we will help build a Big Society where everyone plays their part in mending our broken society.

If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

1. Increase spending on health every year, while cutting waste in the NHS, so that more goes to nurses and doctors on the frontline, and make sure you get access to the cancer drugs you need.

2. Support families, by giving married couples and civil partners a tax break, giving more people the right to request flexible working and helping young families with extra Sure Start health visitors.

3. Raise standards in schools, by giving teachers the power to restore discipline and by giving parents, charities and voluntary groups the power to start new smaller schools.

4. Increase the basic state pension, by relinking it to earnings, and protect the winter fuel allowance, free TV licences, free bus travel and other key benefits for older people.

5. Fight back against crime, cut paperwork to get police officers on the street, and make sure criminals serve the sentence given to them in court.

6. Create National Citizen Service for every 16 year old, to help bring the country together.

5 thoughts on “RE: Charon QC v David Cameron – Breach of Contract

  1. “If we don’t deliver our side of the bargain, vote us out in five years’ time.”

    That’s like a contract to buy a car that says “if the wheels fall in the first week you don’t have to buy your next car from us.”

    I completely agree with the post. If he really wants to throw words like “contract” around he should equally throw around phrases like “remedies for breach.”

  2. The CONTRACT:

    My comments are in CAPITALS not to shout but to seperate my comments from this drivel.

    If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

    1. Give you the right to sack your MP, so you don’t have to wait for an election to get rid of politicians who are guilty of misconduct. THANK YOU, CAN I SACK OSBORNE FIRST AND THEN YOU FOR SUCH A BLOODY STUPID CHOICE OF CHANCELLOR?

    2. Cut the number of MPs by ten per cent, and cut the subsidies and perks for politicians. ARE THESE ALL LABOUR MP’s OR ACROSS THE BOARD? WHAT YOU MEAN WHILE THIS COUNTRY IS IN CRISIS YOU ACTUALLY STILL HAVE PERKS?

    3. Cut ministers’ pay by five per cent and freeze it for five years. NO SHIT?(THAT’S NOT VERY JUDICIAL) A WHOLE 5% CUT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO STOLE FROM THE TAX PAYER. YOU ARE SO KIND.

    4. Give local communities the power to take charge of the local planning system and vote on excessive council tax rises. OH SO YOU WANT TO TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR PLANNING LAWS – OK WELL WHAT CAN ONE SAY.

    5. Make government transparent, publishing every item of government spending over £25,000, all government contracts, and all local council spending over £500. WHY ? YOU GUYS BLED THE COUNTRY A FEW POUNDS AT A TIME NOW YOU CAN HIT US FOR £24,999.99 AND NOT REPORT IT.

    We will change the economy- HAHAHAHA OK THAT WAS GOOD FOR A LAUGH BUT I AGREE YOU WILL, YOUR CHANCELLOR WILL KILL IT STONE DEAD. AS ONCE SAID BY ONE MORE ELOQUENT THAN I ” IT WILL BE A DEAD ECONOMY, DEAD I TELL YOU, PASSED ON, NO MORE-GONE TO MEET ITS MAKER”

    Gordon Brown’s economic incompetence has doubled the national debt, given us record youth unemployment, and widened the gap between rich and poor. Unemployment is still rising, and this year we will spend more on debt interest than on schools. We need to get our economy moving. LOL- AND WHEN THE CONSERVATIVES WERE IN LAST TIME – OH I FORGET BUT I KNOW IT WAS BAD REAL BAD.

    If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

    1. Cut wasteful government spending so we can stop Labour’s jobs tax, which would kill the recovery. NO SHIT? AND YOU CAN GIVE THE VERY RICH TAX BREAKS AND WASTE THE MONEY THERE INSTEAD OF ON CHILDREN. <LITTLE BRATS WHY DO THEY NEED TO EAT?

    2. Act now on the national debt, so we can keep mortgage rates lower for longer. WHAT YOU GOING TO TAKE ACTION NOW! WHAT A CONCEPT YOU REALLY SHOULD BE ELECTED JUST FOR THAT.

    3. Reduce emissions and build a greener economy, with thousands of new jobs in green industries and advanced manufacturing. RUBBISH! GREEN IS DEAD THE NEW BLACK IS RECOVERY DAVE NOT GREEN JOBS YOU CANNOT CREATE.

    4. Get Britain working by giving unemployed people support to get work, creating 400,000 new apprenticeships and training places over two years, and cutting benefits for those who refuse work. AND WHAT ARE THESE APPRENTICES DO, BANKING I WOULD THINK.

    5. Control immigration, reducing it to the levels of the 1990s – meaning tens of thousands a year, instead of the hundreds of thousands a year under Labour. OK SO YOU WOULD REDUCE THE IMMIGRATION BACK TO LEVELS WHEN YOU REMOVED THE BORDER CONTROLS AND TELL ME HOW WILL YOU STOP EU CITIZENS COMING IN TO THE UK? YOU CANNOT SO THIS IS AGAIN RUBBISH. – YOU ARE NOT DOING WELL.

    We will change society- YE YOU DID THAT ONCE BEFORE REMEMBER.

    We face big social problems in this country: family breakdown, educational failure, crime and deep poverty. Labour’s big government has failed; we will help build a Big Society where everyone plays their part in mending our broken society. NO SHIT .- AGAIN AND WHAT DID YOUR PARTY DO FOR 13 YEARS IN OPPOSITION? NOT ONE THING, NOT ONE SUGGESTION, NOT ONE COMMENT , NOT ONE WORD, NOW YOU WANT OUR VOTE AND YOU WILL PAY ANYTHING TO BUY IT.

    If you elect a Conservative government on 6 May, we will:

    1. Increase spending on health every year, while cutting waste in the NHS, so that more goes to nurses and doctors on the frontline, and make sure you get access to the cancer drugs you need. RUBBISH, HOW THE HELL CAN YOU PROMISE 38 BILLION IN TAX CUTS AND YET DEAL WITH THIS FINANCIAL CRISIS? THE TRUTH IS YOU CANNOT YOU ARE TRYING TO BUY OUR VOTE.

    2. Support families, by giving married couples and civil partners a tax break, giving more people the right to request flexible working and helping young families with extra Sure Start health visitors. OK SO NOW YOU HAVE BOUGHT NURSES, DOCTORS AND CANCER PATIENTS, POLICE, MARRIED COUPLES AND SCHOOLS. YOU HAVE TAKEN MONEY FROM CHILDREN AND GIVEN IT TO MULTI MILLIONAIRES AND STOPPED IMMIGRATION.
    3. Raise standards in schools, by giving teachers the power to restore discipline and by giving parents, charities and voluntary groups the power to start new smaller schools. OH REALLY AND HOW WILL YOU DO THIS? SPEND MORE OF THE MONEY WE DO NOT HAVE ON A LEVELS SO WE ARE OUT OF STEP WITH EUROPE AND THE INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATE?

    4. Increase the basic state pension, by relinking it to earnings, and protect the winter fuel allowance, free TV licences, free bus travel and other key benefits for older people. AH SPENDING MORE M$ONEY AND NOW YOU BOUGHT THE PENSIONERS THIS IS IMPRESSIVE STUFF. WHO ELSE IS FOR SALE?

    5. Fight back against crime, cut paperwork to get police officers on the street, and make sure criminals serve the sentence given to them in court. OK SO YOU JUST BOUGHT THE POLICE, WILL SPEND HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS ON NEW PRISONS TO HOUSE THE CRIMINALS YOU ARE SENDING TO PRISON FOR LOUNGER PERIODS.

    6. Create National Citizen Service for every 16 year old, to help bring the country together. WHAT? IS THIS CONSCRIPTION?

    DAVE YOU ARE FULL OF IT, YOUR CHANCELLOR IS SO UNDER QUALIFIED, OH YES THAT'S WRONG, HE HAS NO QUALIFICATIONS AT ALL THAT WILL HELP YOU OUT OF TROUBLE FINANCIALLY.

  3. the judge rawks – what we need is more of the contributors here standing for office…
    (as long as they hate the tories)
    (that doesn’t require any love of labour)

    but wait a moment – what about his pregnant wife?? ah yes – must remember to vote conservative.

  4. I only care about is our pregnant debt which is about to deliver and if Osborne is the attending we are in it up to our necks and sinking fast. I do not think Brown has any new ideas and is just saying the nice things to buy our vote I would prefer he said out load and clear that the old bat was a bigot and just suck it up. What are we going to do? Seriously we are in so much trouble and Cameron with his chum Osborne are going to sink us and blame Brown. Brown is out of ideas but MAY be able to steady the economy and Clegg and his other leg, Cable, have lots of theory but do we thing they can see us through this? Is this the best Britain has to offer?

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