Postcard from the Northern Staterooms : T’internet edition

Dear Reader,

It has been quite a week… and until Wednesday, I think it was, when I bought a case of Rioja Collapso 2007,  my view of the world was relatively straightforward and, quite possibly, similar to yours.  I don’t know what the vinyard has done, but ever since I opened that first bottle (and I have been doing my duty and working assiduously through them) things have become quite surreal.  First, Nick Clegg announced that he was the only Northerner standing for PM – @CherylKerl might say “Ah’ve aalweys leiked Clegg’s suporb woak; it’s just a shame thar he ler hizself doon wi tha shockin Geordee accent.” (With apologies to @CherlKerl for ‘adapting’! )

And today, as I opened another bottle at lunchtime, I began to wonder if I am living in the same reality of Tuesday last.  Just a selection of stories in the papers today, I present as evidence of the problem.

Lord Sir Digby Jones, who has form for unusual statements, has come up with a wonderful plan to ‘starve the young benefit scroungers into accepting jobs’. Apparently he was introduced to two young prats in Swindon who were being interviewed for BBC’s Panorama which goes out this week. One of the pair, from a middle class family,  told Sir Digby Jones-Lord that he and his girlfriend were paid about £12,000 a year in job seeker’s allowance and housing benefit and ‘there was no reason for them to look for work’.  Lord Digby Sir-Jones, was clearly not amused by this – and I’m with him on this – and suggested that these parasites should be starved back to work, or, in the alternative, should go and do some random cleaning of lavatories, graffiti removal – or study at College.   Lord Sir Digby Jones, who finally left the Labour government, did end the piece in the Sunday Times by saying….  that he had put his ‘Starve the scroungers back to work’ idea to a meeting of senior ministers and officials when he was in government.

“I told them. ‘We are creating a victim society of people who think they have no responsibility’.

“They all just said ‘What, what are you talking about?  You can’t say that’.  I might as well have admitted I mugged my granny.”

I agree… I’m writing to Sir Lord Digby-Jones, as I drink this fine Rioja Crianza that if he would be prepared to mug his granny on Britain’s Got Talent... he’ll get a YES from me.

I continued my reading in The Sunday Times and discovered that we have 1 million illegal immigrants who have gone awol. It is quite possible that some of them are working for the government.  The government has form on this. Quite a few illegals have popped up working, of all places, at the Home Office. Then I discovered  that the ‘Fortunes of the super-rich have risen by a third’.  This, when the country is reduced to penury is the supreme irony. Those investment bankers and ‘hedgies’ certainly know how to spot a turkey, promote it to the public and then bet against it succeeding.

Nick Clegg makes another appearance in  my alternate reality with a statement that he wants to have a ‘Putsch’ (assuming he actually manages to win his own seat in the election’), and demand half the seats in the Cabinet….. oh… and get rid of Gordon Brown. Well… I’m certainly with him on the latter proposition.   I suspect that the Lib-Dem surge is going to burst… but I could be wrong.  Most of the political pundits disagree with each other, so why should a Rioja drinking law blogger be able to shed light where there is darkness.

Stephen Hawking, I read in the Sunday Times’ is warning us that we should not communicate with any aliens who may visit us. I’m with him on that and can re-assure him and you, that I shall certainly not be sharing any of my Rioja with the yellow flying Lizard from another world who popped into The Staterooms just before before lunch.

AND FINALLY…..

Something to think about on May 6th

This is  the most important election I have been interested in and this from Old Holborn is worth a look!

I decided not to run the London Marathon yet again this year – the organisers  weren’t too keen on me competing with my water bottles filled with Rioja anyway… but I can report that as a ‘homage’ to all the runners, I did run 124 yards to a nearby bar to have an excellent roast beef lunch.

Best as ever

Charon

One thought on “Postcard from the Northern Staterooms : T’internet edition

  1. First – on Stephen Hawking, I think it most likely that he was referring to David Icke. As for Nick Clegg – a mere bauble, a novelty, a shooting star who will crash and burn before, or if not on, May 6th. Detail in polling data last night showed that 42% of the LibDem vote said they may change their mind before polling day, as opposed to 21% of the Tory vote; I didn’t bother to look at the Labour % who may change, as Labour are now an irrelevance.

    But I am DEEPLY disappointed that you haven’t mentioned the Elvis lark – is that Mandy at his old tricks? Labour know they’re history, so may as well go down in flames, which would give Mandy Machiavelli the perfect opportunity to remove Gordon Clown. Or was it simply stupidity to put a man trying to make you believe he’s something that he’s not, on stage with a man trying to make you believe he’s something that he’s not. The perfect analogy…………

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