The Patriot needs YOU!

David Cameron has played the ‘Patriot’ card…. it is our patriotic duty to vote for him… to save the country we love.  Where the F**k did the Laurel & Hardy Institute of Policy come up with this idea?… in a crack den?

Well… all I can say in response… after cracking open the Photoshop to do a very obvious pastiche on Kitchener is quote (slightly modified) the lyrics to the Dad’s Army theme tune…

Who do you think you are kidding Mister Cameron

if you think we’re on the run?

We are the boys who will stop your little game

We are the boys who will make you think again

‘Cause who do you think you are kidding Mister Cameron

If you think Old Labour’s done?

32 thoughts on “The Patriot needs YOU!

  1. You know there is another party using the ‘Patriot’ card its the BNP. If that is all Cameron has we are all in serious trouble. Time for a revolution I think. Britain does not do revolution very well but then who knows we may just pull it off this time as we need some serious action and we need serious people taking serious actions to get us out of a serious financial mess. In passing has Cameron ever had a job, you know one where he goes and does a job like the rest of us?

  2. “Your Country needs ME”?

    No – Our Country needs Conservative Government, LED by you. That is the stark truth. Five more years of despair or a different fork in the road which will bring hope.

  3. Jonathan – I’d be appalling as a prime minister…. would spend far too much time chucking Rioja bottles at staff and Ministers…. and when would I have time to waste time on Twitter and by blogging?
    :-)

  4. There is no one out there worth voting for so I would like to be PM and I would promise:

    1) Cut all personal income tax to 0% the more you have the more you will spend :-)
    2) Corporate tax to 12%
    3) VAT to 20% – need you to spend your money so a consumer tax is much fairer if you consume you pay tax.
    4) No inheritance, death or capital gains tax.
    5) Scrap A level and replace with IB
    6) Let bankrupt banks go crash
    7) Set up new specialty banks. Bank would deal with Mortgages and all property loans or Savings or Merchant banking etc no bank would be allowed to offer conflicting services.
    8) Bank bonuses could only be paid if the bank owed no money to the public.
    9) Turn the UK into a high quality off shore jurisdiction
    10) Break the political system we have and replace it with one much like Switzerland returning power to the people and removing it from politicians.
    11) Bring in strict immigration controls.
    12) Life will mean life and violent criminals will be put away for at least 10 years.
    13)

    Will anyone vote for me?

  5. oh charon – you have another pet tory in the menagerie!!! is this where dave’s lead has gone? one by one you lure them like a dryad to your boat and there they remain forever entranced by your cleverness. perhaps if we wait a few minutes, they may send another one to search for jonathan! my dog, this could actually work!!!

  6. charonqc- WHY the due diligence we do not do it on any politicians so why am I been singled out? Is this not discrimination? If we can hand our economy in crisis to a person with a history degree no due diligence could have been done. I expect to be treated like any politician, no due diligence, how dare you just because I will lead a G7 country why in gods name should I be tested? A nice salary, perks , duck houses, 1st class tickets for planes, trains and flash cars. Also please pay for my house, secretary and of course I will employ my family as well. Due diligence – how dare you!

  7. Pingback: Today… I am all about being patriotic…. « Charon QC

  8. i don’t think we need any due diligence on the judge. with a manifesto like that you know he can’t be lying to try and make people like him! it has the added benefit that the country would have more people like andrew lloyd webber, chris de burgh, paul daniels and all the other ones who threaten to leave because tax rates are too high. poor old lloyd webber – barely knows where his next racehorse is coming from. it does piss me of that although they always threaten to leave they never have the decency to sweeten the air by actually fucking off and leaving us the hell alone.

    on that thought, maybe the judge would be happier somewhere else too. switzerland? a delightful country in my experience where the front of the properties are amazingly expensive jewelry shops and the rear are brothels. hardly fucked up at all.

    sell him a ticket for your next boat, charon.

  9. simply wondered – LOl you are funny. Lived in Switzerland for 12 years, lovely place no brothels in the back of Jewelry shops, boring yes but that’s the people not the political system that IMHO is outstanding. Under your ideal Britain everyone one with any money would push off (not as rude as you) everyone would have the Government look after them and we could all sit around and do little but whine. Come on life is so much fun if you take part. Oh just so you know Switzerland is Land locked so you cannot get their by boat.

  10. The Judge / SW – Due diligence is not required!

    The Judge sounds – despite some ‘odd’ policies’… just what we need in the country …wot we all luv….

    Excellent stuff… I shall waive my fee for the final trip when the time comes….

  11. i do just wish that for once, all the annoying people who spend the election campaign threatening to leave if the result goes against them, would have the grace actually to leave. is it really too much to ask? judge, we agree on practically nothing (although i’m happy to agree that switzerland is landlocked) but surely we can unite on the desirability of a society without paul daniels. *extends the olive branch with an unpleasant dwarf perched on it*

  12. Taking an Olive branch from you would have anthrax on it for sure and how did you know I was and unpleasant dwarf and while we are at it whats wrong with an unpleasant dwarf anyway? In your Britain I should fit in just fine and get lots of social support as well. OH ok I will take the Olive branch – and beat you with it but then you may be of the Max Mosley ilk and you may enjoy that – OH what to do ? Maybe I will leave Britain.

  13. WHAT ?? SW has money? Maybe he is a Red Knight trying to take over Manchester United? he could buy my boat ticket to Switzerland:-)

  14. oh judge – i fear i have uncovered further common ground between us (i presume to our mutual chagrin). your talent for deliberate misunderstanding appears to be up there with my own!. that or i had mixed my metaphors too enthusiastically to be understood by anyone without a spin dryer for a brain.

    i shall take your bait and explain…

    the unpleasant dwarf was paul daniels. i certainly wasn’t saying you were an unpleasant dwarf, judge – i have no idea how tall you are.

    i suggest that the answer to ‘whats wrong with an unpleasant dwarf anyway?’ is in the ‘unpleasant’ bit. maybe you could agree to take judicial notice of the english language.

    the boat was of course across the styx (or perhaps acheron in some versions?) rather than to switzerland.

    i can confirm i am not one of the various unsavoury characters trying to buy football clubs – i am a totally different sort of unsavoury character.

    being beaten is not one of my kinks. you can hit me to your heart’s content, safe in the knowledge i will not be enjoying it. unless i am lying. what seems certain is that if we choose to do it in private we will have a right to keep it private.

  15. SW- Ignorance is not a defense regardless on which way my brain is spinning. I have also looked for the Judicial Notice and cannot find it. I will of course immediately dispatch my judicial assistant to recover a copy – where do I find this notice? If you could point me in the correct direction (I was worried about saying, the right direction, in case you asked if I did not know my left from my right)

    What we do agree on is the sad fellows getting lots of PR while pretending they will buy Manchester United. As for beating I wonder if I can take this under advisement and will let you know in due course.

  16. you can take yer beating any way you choose, yer honour.

    i promise this isn’t a loaded question: are the red knights actually getting pr? – i didn’t realise people knew who they were, though it’s not a story i have followed closely.

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