While my adaptation of a famous soliloquy from Hamlet may also be appropriate to Baroness Scotland – at least the first lines – I was inspired to do this parody by a very good pastiche over at Capitalists@Work by Nick Drew…. his is actually worth reading!
This week, now that Nick Cleggo (14 1/2) has asked Jim to Fix It for him to be the next prime minister, we get down to the conferences for the two main parties – by which I mean the parties that actually have a chance (a) of losing power big time – Labour and (b) Winning power – The Conservatives.
Gordon Brown’s soliloquy while waiting for some One-on-One action with President Obama
G20 Conference 24th September 2009
To go, or not to go: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the end to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous voting,
Or to take a post running the G20,
And by doing this ruin Britain even more? To lie: to shout;
No more; and by a flight to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
My government is father to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d by many. To lie, to fly;
To fly: perchance to dream of legacy: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that flight of political death what dreams may come
When I have shuffled off this prime ministerial coil,
Must give us pause: there’s no respect
That makes calamity of my long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
For my Chancellorship’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy taxes,
When he himself might his quietus make
Without my mobile phone? who would MPs fear?,
To grunt and sweat under a weary wife,
But that the dread of something after Brown
I abuse Twitter… and thoroughly enjoy the many exchanges I have (over 27000 tweets in 14 months) with quite a few people. Krishnan Guru-Murthy, Channel 4 broadcaster and newsreader, is a reasonably enthusiastic user and sometimes he asks questions – as he did on Friday evening before the 6.00 news. I have printed my answer to his question below…
And so to a semi-serious point about the so-called ‘special relationship’ with the United States. Brown made himself and our country look rather ridiculous with his reported desperation to get a bit of PM on President action with Obama at the G20. This led to ridiculous reports of the Foreign Office trying ‘FIVE’ times to get a response to a request for this one on one meeting and mocking laughter from the press, voters back here and a bit of bafflement from people I know in the United States who actually asked… “What is this ‘special relationship’ the Brit press is going on about… we don’t know anything about this over here!
We have enjoyed good bi-lateral relationships with the United States ever since WWII when they stepped in to save the world, and took our colonies to pay for some destroyers. The US called it Lend-Lease. Some here, in the pubs and bars of Blighty, called it economic rape. There was a time when a British Naval blockade could make the seas safe for us to go off and pillage the known world of colonies – but those days, thankfully, are long gone. What is the pre-occupation with the ‘special relationship’? Why do British Prime Ministers demean themselves and us by appearing to want to be primus uppus your arse and tell the world and the voters back here that they are *IN* with whichever psychopath just happens to be in charge of the US nuclear arsenal at the time? (And to be fair…Obama …not withstanding, there have been a fair few nutters leading America in recent years. How could we forget the Nutter-in-Chief himself… Dubya?
The real politik is (a) we have a perfectly good relationship with the United States if reports are to be believed (b) The United States is looking outward under Obama to reach a wider world (c) Obama seems vaguely sane for the present (d) Our prime minister, some say, is off the planet and will, in any event lose the next election… BADLY. he is not so much a lame duck… but, as our friends in America would say… just LAME (e) we are over reliant on our relationship with the US and should, ourselves, be forging alliances with other countries – for trade, for fun, even…. rather than our usual motives of financial greed, control and a bit of war to keep things tagging along with the Yanks.
Oh… and when will politicans get the hang of the idea that the average voter is not interested in the legacy of any prime minister? .. they are interested in what the government is doing for them… not the Yanks or any other nation on Earth. Yesterday Number 10 announced (On twitter!) with great solemnity that they were giving £250 million to world health. I asked, on twitter, which bank they were going to borrow money from – and suggested Lloyds. Fortunately, I am not running the country… but I do live in it and the antics of the present prime minister are becoming, frankly, bizarre… if reports from independent blogs and some vaguely sensible newspapers are to be believed. Andrew Grice of The Independent puts a bit of sanity and perspective into the nonsense of recent days.
Well… there we are… I may well write two postcards this weekend… but now, as the sun goes down over the Medway…. I must find a glass and put some wine into it.
Best as always
PS… and now this…