Legless in Gaza? No, but in the wake of my Smokedo: Smoke yourself fit with Charon antics, I am now going to be a wine reviewer for LawandMore. I used to do restaurant reviews for them, but as I far prefer drinking to eating – and I am miles away from good restaurants- it makes sense to review wines. There is another advantage – the wines come to me by courier!
I have spoken to two wine people this morning – both very enthusiastic blokes – and warned them that my reviews tend to be less technical, but more surreal, than the real experts. While I studied wine in my late twenties, I gave up; preferring instead to drink the goddam stuff than worry what colour the soil was or where the sun was pointing when grape turned into nectar of the gods. It is unlikely also, I told them, that I would be writing about fruits or wine tasting of old cricket bats. I will be concentrating on taste, of course and will also (because I am an enthusaistic if infrequent cook) give an idea of what food it will go with - but I will be asking one essential question – Did it do the business?
I shall, of course, have a grading system based on a 1-5 scale. One is not a good score. Five will be nirvana.
I am pleased to report that my Smokedo programme is going well.
I am now a 30aday Dan and managing to do 1000 press-ups, and 500 squats, calf lifts and 500 repetitions of five arm exercises with a 5kg dumbell daily – courtsey of Mr Amazon who delivered said dumbells to me only yesterday. I rather overdid it yesterday evening and found my right arm throwing tea into my face when I lifted my cup this morning – but, in time…. my body will get used to the new muscles.
The drawing to the left is a simulation. For political reasons I cannot be photographed smoking as I use these dumbells. The technique of gripping the cigarette between the teeth allows natural breathing in and out while using the dumbell equipment. As always, please do not try this at home unless a Smokedo master is present to advise.