26th April: Postcard from The House of Lords

I write to you this night from a small room in the House of Lords to report that while my dear friend Lord CashnCarry has escaped detection, two of his fellow lords for hire  have not.  I begin my weekly postcard with a sombre tone.  The Sunday Times reported the devastating news…

TWO Labour peers at the centre of the lords for hire scandal have been found guilty of misconduct by a sleaze inquiry and face suspension from parliament, according to senior House of Lords sources. Senior peers have concluded that Lord Taylor of Blackburn and Lord Truscott have broken the code of conduct of members of the upper house.

It would appear that Lords Taylor and Blackburn, quilty only of ‘whoring out Parliament’ may be barred from The House of Lords for up to a year and, much more amusingly, lose their £335 a day daily tax free allowance.   Guido and others ask… Is there really no criminal sanction?  I am no criminal lawyer, but, astonishingly, despite having more criminal laws than any other country on earth (many of them enacted in the last ten or so years) … it would appear not.  Two other peers are under investigation.

I had the pleasure today of doing two podcasts – With Professor Steve Molyneux, the magistrate who resigned after a fellow magistrate complained about his Twittering and with Gideon, the author of the Public Defender blog.  Both were fun to do and we covered a lot of ground.

Smokedo - Smoke yourself fit with Charon

My quest for definition and the physique of my youth continues with my carefully worked set of eight exercises completed 25 times a day with 50 reps of each exercise while smoking.  Fig 2 illustrates the Smokedo Press-up.  Obviously, this is not a picture of me – the picture is simulated to show how I do it.  The cigarette is also a model. The technique is straightforward:

1. Light cigarette |  2. Asssume pressup position | 3.  do press-up 50 times, remembering to breathe in each time you go down and exhale through the nose, so as to avoid dropping the cigarette, on the way up.

I rather overdid the exercises last night upon my return from a drinking session at The Porterhouse with @Geeklawyer, @ Nancetron, @ Special_noodles, @Rah_rah and @Pandamans. I can say this, though… that while they all appeared to have  hangovers this morning… I did not.  Smokedo… the way of smoking while exercising.  It is easy, Grasshopper. 
WARNING:
Do not try this at home without first consulting a specialist like me.  This is only for professionals or for those who have been given the secret scrolls of Smokedo

I can tell you this though, when I am able to walk again properly, I shall be a lot fitter and slimmer.  It is working…. ripping that flab as I type.

Well on that note… as I clearly appear to have lost the plot… I have to go into a trance like state now, drink a few glasses of Rioja and spend some time with my Tweets on twitter.

Have an excellent week.

Regards as always

Sensei Charonaka

Smokedo Master
30aday Dan

5 thoughts on “26th April: Postcard from The House of Lords

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