Postcard from *East of London*: 29th March

Dear Reader,

I write this week, reflecting that we live in a potentially dystopic society where the legal profession act as undertakers and embalmers, attending upon the apparatus of state and government,  with news reported this very morning that our Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is caught up in yet another expenses row.  Sky reports that ‘ a claim was put through for two adult films ordered at her home’.  Which of her two homes, we are not told.

The row centres on a £67 bill for television services claimed under her Commons expenses last June. The report continues: “According to the Sunday Express, the fee included charges for two pay-per-view films labelled “Additional Features”. The label is a euphemism for adult films used on bills “to avoid embarrassment”, the paper claimed. Films were allegedly ordered on April 1 and April 6 last year, when Ms Smith was not at her family home. Ms Smith said through her spokesman: “I am sorry that in claiming for my internet connection, I mistakenly claimed for a television package alongside it…. As soon as the matter was brought to my attention, I took immediate steps to contact the relevant parliamentary authorities and rectify the situation. All money claimed for the television package will be paid back in full.”

It would appear that her husband may have purchased these additional features, according to ‘Sky sources’. Ah well… an easy mistake to make.

Home alone?

That’s the trouble with being in the house alone.  Crack open the Beaujolais, get pissed and before one knows it…  one is rogering a naked woman in an office at the House of Commons and then being so drunk one can’t remember taking pics of this cavorting and  downloading them onto a computer.  A High Court judge, Mr Justice King, was involved this week in just such a case – in a judicial capacity.  He was not, of course, doing the drunken cavorting.

The News of The World takes up the story first reported last week:

DISGRACED sex romp MP Nigel Griffiths was covered in yet more shame last night-after a High Court Judge REJECTED his bid to SILENCE the News of the World’s TRUE revelations of his antics inside the House of Commons.

The News of the world continues… “The married former Labour minister attempted to get a legal injunction to gag us. But he failed and was SLAMMED by the judge.”

I am not entirely sure what is involved in being slammed by a high court judge  but Mr Justice King “damned Griffiths as he declared: “At the very least, he was being economical with the truth. It could be said to be a lie but I don’t have to go that far.”

Ah well… good to see that the affairs of state are proceeding in the usual ‘Carry on Shagging’ British way.

Well… I’ll be back later in the day… ineluctably….

regards as always



Does Jacqui Smith’s hubby have an orange penis?

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