It was quiet… preternaturally quiet… calm almost. I poured some Tempranillo into a large glass, swirled it around and sat back. Christmas had arrived once again. I have decided to amuse myself tomorrow by cooking a curry from scratch… a hot one from Southern India. I purchased all the necessary spices, the rice, some chicken breasts, bananas, mango chutney, some peanuts (I follow the Malaysian style of eating nuts, bananas, fruit and other sambals with my curries) and some Naan bread. But that is tomorrow. Tonight, I shall have turkey slices, some coleslaw and potato salad.
I have decided not to have Christmas pudding this year and I forgot to buy a Christmas cake. No matter… I shall look at Geeklawyer’s magnificent creation, baked a year ago, he tells me, and matured with alcohol these past twelve months. Geeklawyer drinks a fair bit of mead and has a taste for strawberry flavoured beer. I know this. I have seen him drink such a beverage at the Porterhouse pub in Covent Garden. The consumption of mead may account for the truly marvellous decoration on the cake, crafted by Geeklawyer himself,… an octopus about to grab what may well be a rabbit. Regular visitors to my blog will recall that I met up with Geeklawyer only last Saturday for Christmas cocktails – the occasion when he took off a green jacket he was wearing, threw it in a bin on Longacre and put on a purple jacket he had just acquired from Paul Smith nearby. Little did I know, as we drank our way through double vodka shots, an excellent margerita and then red wine, that he was planning to decorate a Christmas cake with an octopus. Res ipsa loquitur.
There was a plan to go out tonight with a couple of friends. One, unfortunately, has the unpleasant vomiting flu virus, and the other has gone AWOL and is, no doubt, at some club in Chelsea or elsewhere drinking. This has one advantage. Instead of crashing in at about 6.30 am and then going onto Twitter, I shall awake on Christmas morning to find a large red stocking with a bottle of wine in it, similar to the picture on the header of this blog, at the foot of my bed. I shall then drink it and listen to carols or Italian opera and then plan my Christmas movie ‘Urbi et Orbi’, ready for publication shortly after 3.00 when HM The Queen has finished her message to us all.
The Archbishop speaks to the nation…
While I do not share the proclivity for believing in non-existent entities enjoyed by many, I do like to keep an eye on what our clerics are up to. Tomorrow, the BBC reports, the Archbishop of Canterbury is due to tell us…”People should not wait for “larger-than-life” heroes to solve the world’s problems, the Archbishop of Canterbury will say in his Christmas sermon.”
I cannot imagine that he is referring to our prime minister, self-styled Moses and Flash Gordon, saviour of the universe, so this seems to be a reference to some other fantastic creation of imagination rather than reality. The BBC report goes on to state that “The Archbishop is due to say: “History will end when God decides…..The gospel tells us something hard to hear – that there is not going to be a single charismatic leader or a dedicated political campaign or a war to end all wars that will bring the golden age. It tells us that history will end when God decides, not when we think we have sorted all our problems out; that we cannot turn the kingdoms of this world into the kingdom of God and his anointed; that we cannot reverse what has happened and restore a golden age.”
I’m not entirely sure whether the archbishop saw me with 500 loaves and fishes and a great deal of wine, or tap dancing on the Thames one night recently when I had a good night on the boat…. but… whatever the archbishop is having…. make mine a large one.
Christmas podcast to follow…. with Geeklawyer… Now up on the blog…