Normal service resume tomorrow?….

Despite coming up with a brainwave to buy BTOpenzone credits to use hotspots – I found one right at the top of the boat – after paying the money to BT when a full signal was received… somewhat mysteriously there signal disappeared soon after.  It may come back!

So… no posting – going for a glass of wine.  Hopefully will organise new router or dongle tomorrow..

The spy society…. or WTF are our Police actually employed to do?

So…. the plan now is to give a whole raft of officials powers to give out fines and marshall us into some Beijing Olympic cadre style of civil obedience and responsibility. The Evening Standard reported today that Town Hall staff are to be given power to hand out fines.  This is a rather worrying plan being developed by The Home Office.  On the assumption, and I cannot be sure, that civil servants have not taken over during the Summer, this must be the product of the febrile mind of our Home Secretary.

The idea – called “The Community Safety Accreditation Scheme” – is that a third tier level of ‘unaccountable policing’ will be brought into play.  I quote from The Evening Standard article:

“More than 1600 civilians ranging from shop security guards, park wardens, housing officers, charity workers, dog wardens and football match stewards have been made part of the ‘extended police family’ under the legislation.”

Footpath fouling, cycling on pavements, dropping litter etc etc are to be clamped down on. It was bad enough when the government brought in a group of people, not trained to full police standards (and not paid police rates) to shamble about in grey shirts and police kit, including antistab vests – and not get involved in anything likely to cause danger to themselves or, presumably, the public.   I’m sure those employed as PCSOs mean well, and know the way to the local Tesco, but as a front line force to deter crime – it really is pretty laughable.  I recall seeing, in West London, three PCSOs pop into a high street cafe for buns and tea.  I happened to be at the cafe at the time. They drank the tea and ate their buns with exemplary efficiency, paid and shambled off to wander down the High Street looking for Lex Luther, Ernst Stavro Blofeld and The Joker. They looked like amateurs and I just could not see even a pre-hoodie potential knife carrier of five being even vaguely concerned by their presence.

Now we’ve got the next load of worthies, no doubt to be given Dad’s Army style armbands or bright yellow Hi-Viz jackets (possibly even with “USELESS” written in blue lettering on the back),  drifting about dishing out fines to swell the coffers of government and local government alike.  More real Police?  Is that so difficult? – or too expensive?

Now that the bloviators and hyperventilators of the press, television and other media have gorged themselves on Team GB and told us how marvellously China did in producing the games, how the world must open its arms to China and how Britain will go on to produce an even better games in 2012, it was reassuring to read a bit of critical analysis.

Spuggers?
Lest anyone think that as I rioja (*) my way through what life there is remaining in the egg-timer of my life and have turned into a grumpy old git, nothing could be further from the truth.  Team GB did well. It was a tremendous achievement and I very much hope that the athletes get some credit of practical benefit, other than geegaws, baubles and knighthoods, to assist them with their sport and their lives.  When one reads, courtesy of the tabloids, that an olympic athlete on average earns £25k and internationally renowned shopaholic fuckwits who can’t even qualify  for (let alone win) the European football fest earn millions one begins to wander about sporting interest and value for money. It seems, also,  to my jaded eye, that hordes of worthies, journalists and politicians are lining up to bask in the glory while the athletes modestly accept the plaudits, don’t let it go to their heads and get back to doing what they enjoy most in life – sport at a high level. Lords Coe and Moynihan appear like Shakespearean witches, stirring the bubbling cauldron of success,  to demand your money… and, quite possibly, lots of it. Would “Spuggers” be the right word for extorting sports cash?

As Will Self (In The Standard) and Martin Samuel (The Times) have pointed out – China drew on vast human resources used to complying with government edict – they even bussed hordes of people around to fill empty seats – and there was a very real human cost in terms of mounting and paying for the games.  The press did not get entirely free and open access.  77 requests were made, according to Samuels, for designated protest events and these were all declined and, it is highly likely that the regimented politically controlled society of China will return to normal fairly shortly.  One civil rights activist of my acquaintance, who shall remain nameless until he decides to express his views in print himself, mused that where once great sporting records were broken, lives would be broken by the execution of criminals and other state undesirables.  the Bird’s Nest stadium may yet hear the sound of loaded gunfire and the roar of a different crowd as executed criminals fall to the grass where once javelins landed.  To be fair…. it is believed that China is now beginning to use mobile lethal injection units rather than firing squads – but executions will, no doubt, be resumed in the not too distant future for the terminal education of those who dissent.
***

Meanwhile, we are encouraged to look forward to 2012.  I just can’t summon the energy to do so….. and that logo is just bizarre.  Talk about a broken society metaphor?

Well… I haven’t had a decent rant or ‘expression of irritation’ for some time…. but there we are.  I can now relapse back to normal.

Footnote: (*) If the BBC can drone on and on about ‘medalling’ during the Olympics and turn nouns into verbs, I can talk about ‘riojaing’ – and I don’t charge a licence fee.

And just a little bit more Family Law….

Do your own divorce?…. If you want a divorce (or are involved in a divorce) but you are neither eligible for legal aid nor able to afford to instruct a solicitor, what do you do?  Well – buy John Bolch’s excellent book on “Do Your Own Divorce” which he is promoting on his Family Lore blog – available online. This is a good example of a practising lawyer turning into an author and self publisher.  I have read most of the book now and while I am not contemplating marriage to give the book a try, I found it readable, informative, clear and, most important – practical.

Surprised?….

The harbingers of doom gather as the credit-crunch brings into focus the rising/falling fortunes of lawyers and law firms. There does seem to be a spate of articles appearing contrasting the fabulous earnings of some lawyers, yet hinting at dark times to come. Perhaps, as the season changes from summer to the early suggestion of autumn, the pundits, the journalists and commentators are turning their attention away from sightings of great white sharks off the coast of Britain, away from the Olympics and David Cameron’s interest in Gavin and Stacey, to more serious matters.

By way of illustration… in The Times today there are two articles.  The first has the headline “Lawyers make billions but the good times are ending” by Alex Spence and, the second, also written by Alex Spence,  ” Law firms feel pinch as companies slash legal spending”

We learn from the first Alex Spence article that: “The top 100 commercial law firms earned combined revenues of £13.96 billion in the past financial year, according to a report published today, an increase of 14 per cent on the previous year. Collectively they made £4.35 billion in profits, an average of £473,000 for each equity partner”

And then…. Spence tells us that “According to Legal Business magazine, the highest paid partners at Slaughter and May, one of the City’s oldest and most prestigious firms, earned £2.4 million each last year”

There is a bit of comparative mumbo jumbo with other magic circle firms… but Slaughter & May enjoys the focus with Spence noting that S&M is ‘notoriously reticent about its earnings..fiercely protective about reputation and heritage’ – a rather interesting footnote about the fact that S&M partners lunch together ‘every day’ in the partner’s dining room and then…. a bit to highlight the contrast in fortunes between the large and small… a note that equity partners at leading personal injury specialists Thompsons are only trousering £83,000.  I do seem to recall reading in one of the tabloids, it may have been The Sun, that the average wage in credit-crunched Britain is £23,000.  The Spence article notes that law firms take longer to feel the impact of economic downturn…. ‘but the impact was starting to be felt’.

Spence ends with the portent of doom “Law firms are beginning to look at one of their costliest overheads — their staff — and ask questions.”

Alex Spence then goes on to excite us by writing a second article bearing the same date of publication in which he states “Law firms are feeling the pinch as Britain’s top companies, under pressure from the economic downturn, slash their spending on outside legal advice”  Spence goes on to say that companies are finding it cheaper to hire their own in-house lawyers rather than give work to external law firms.

It seems that  in-house lawyers, according to The Times, “earn less than their counterparts in private practice, with a junior lawyer likely to earn between £65,000 and £120,000 a year plus benefits and bonus.”

Spence notes that companies have been finding it difficult to hire lawyers.  This is hardly surprising given the yawning chasm in the earnings of in-house lawyers compared to those in private practice… but… this may well change as law firms start asking questions and firing expensive staff overhead.

We shall see if these portents of doom are realised. It may well be time for some to have a Damascus moment and talk of work-life balance, to talk of opportunity to practice law at the sharp end of corporate enterprise, rather than remotely through the offices of a law factory, to talk of a long held wish, after building up expertise in a top law firm, to use their skills more directly for the good of Great Britain PLC…. that there is a wider agenda for the modern lawyer of today etc etc etc.  It may well be that these thoughts are music to the ears of company HR departments and the managing partners of law firms alike.  Time will tell.

25 August: Postcard from The Boat (2)

Is Gordon Brown Bonkers? – is the buzz going around Westminster according to Guido Fawkes.  I’ll leave you to investigate further should you wish to do so – but I will take one quote from the Guido post.:

“When Kay Burley asked him this week would he still have the PM’s job at Christmas his reply was “Of course, because we have got to get on with the job… We have got to get on with the job. People want us to get on with the job. Getting on with the job is the most important thing at the moment.” He snapped at the Mail on Sunday “I’m happy to talk to you because you are here… I have given you special time. That is very good of me. You are very fortunate.”

Perhaps we shall yet see Brown wandering around Dover doing a King Lear impersonation?

With the passing of the Bank holiday and summer gently easing into autumn – the politicians will start to return, putting away their beige jackets and Boden casual wear, and the Conference season will be upon us.  Britain will gradually get back to work.  On that note I admit to taking a break over the last week and most enjoyable it was… but I am equally delighted to be returning to reading interesting news, and doing other work.

Normal service to be resumed this week…..

24 August: Postcard from The Boat (1)

So… it is Sunday on a Bank holiday weekend. The Notting Hill carnival is underway… reggae reggae sauce, courtesy of The Dragon’s Den, Red Stripe, curried goat,  whistles, floats, exotic outfits, dancing policemen – a national treasure I shall not be attending, having been to five over the past fifteen years.

Instead, I find myself on a boat on The Thames, realising there is no legal news of any consequence and, thereby, I am free not to shoehorn much law in without guilt. So what has been “occurring” as David Cameron would say, jumping on yet another populist bandwagon (Observer article I happened to read)?

Nick Holmes, founder of infolaw, author of the Binary Law blog and fellow enthusiast for the net as a medium of expression and publishing – has started up an idea called The Free Legal web.  yes… there are going to be difficulties.  Have a look.  It is a great idea.  Even better – become a contributor.  I fear, however, that my musings on this blawg will be of little value to this project – but I shall have a go to see if I can contribute in other ways.

Blawgs are in the news… well… to be more accurate, not that many blawgs are – but serial blogger, ranter and the man who did set up UK Lawblog Conferences  – Geeklawyer – has been in The Times in a piece by Alex Wade.

UK LAWBLOG 2008 15th SEPTEMBER

The first UK Blawgers conference, last year,  was set up by Geeklawyer and Ruthie – and was an enjoyable event.  This year the tone is different – no talks – straight to the pub to talk of many things.  There may be short five minute ‘lightning’ presentations, the odd podcast – and, for my taste, this format is all the better for the informality. Blogger or would be blogger… let Geeklawyer know if you plan to attend by commenting on his blog post… or, perhaps… just turn up.  Venue details are here.  Come along…  all liability is, naturally, excluded.

And so… to matters of Government.

The Labour government continues to persuade the British electorate of the benefits of ID cards with another command performance.  Hot on the trail of 25 million records being lost by H M Revenue & Customs, Northern Ireland driver details, various military and intelligence secrets left on trains inbound to Waterloo by spooks and military people – the kebab fancying Home Secretary,  Jacqui Smith, has now been able to point the finger of shame at a contractor entrusted by her department for losing the records of “40,000 serious criminals”  (The Telegraph).  Apparently, these details were on a USB memory stick.

The Telegraph reports: “Home Office officials are now in discussions with the Information Commissioner about what steps it may need to take to protect those whose privacy has been jeopardised. The Commissioner said last night that “searching questions must be answered” before it decides what further action to take.”

The Information Commissioner has already warned that Britain is ‘sleep walking towards a surveillance society’.  In The News of The World this morning I read that local councils, who appear to be developing a taste for misusing ‘terror legislation’,  are now spying on people to see if girlfriends / boyfriends are staying overnight – to enable them to ‘swoop’ on those who claim a discount on council tax because they live alone.

Meanwhile… Prime Minister Cyclops is in in Beijing – arriving after we had won most of our medals so as not to jinx yet another sporting event – looking just as uncomfortable in front of the cameras as he does holidaying in Suffolk wearing a beige jacket.   Team GB has done well.  It is pleasing that we got more medals than the Australians – my only real interest in the games.  Boris will be collecting the Olympic flag today and, mercifully, the newspapers and other media will be able to write about rather more interesting things…  China will be able to get back to being a beautifully run authoritarian state, and , hopefully, we won’t have to watch Lord Sir Sebastian Bore on our screens for a while.

I’ve just popped on to Twitter. One of the Twitterers had written: Who thinks we’re going to bugger something up at the closing ceremony – especially after Boris said it would be a safe, risk-free affair?”

To my shame, I read it rather differently – misreading the word ‘something’.  Mea culpa.

I’ll write again later, for I plan several parts to my Postcard over this bank holiday weekend,  – but now… I have to go for a glass of Rioja….

I shall, however, leave you with this from the BBC live online coverage of the games:

“”A beautifully organised Games all around, then Boris appears, jacket undone, looking like a drunk who gatecrashed the party, what an embarrassment.”

Best wishes as always….

Family Law

Kelvin Mackenzie in The Sun has an amusing story about chef Marco Pierre White.  Apparently Marco Pierre White, in the throes of divorcing his wife, has taken to watching their wedding video – in reverse.

He likes to see his wife take off the ring, leave the church, get into the car and disappear.

I enjoyed that story.

To medal or not to medal?….

The BBC appears to have been caught up in a frenzy of using nouns as verbs. The latest noun to be turned into a verb is ‘medal’.

“Will people stop using the word ‘medal’ as a verb? It’s extremely annoying.”
Anon via text on 81111

followed by… 1158: Will Victoria Pendleton medal in the final of the women’s sprint? Will Chris Hoy medal? Will Jason Kenny medal? Of course they will! They’re both going to ruddy medal – the second race of the final is coming up!

Legal news?… not a lot of it about…

However, doyen of the legal web in the UK, author of Binary Law and the founder of infolaw – has a new initiative and asks for us all to build a legal web together.  Check it out. The Free Legal Web (Don’t dream it… be it.” [I enjoyed the reference to The Rocky Horro Show]  I fear that my rioja driven ramblings may not be that useful to this project.  I may have to contribute under a different name.

As there is not a great deal of law about and no-one seems to be working, I am going to CPDdesign and then do a bit of riojaing.

A bit of law…

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn’t matter to me.  I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it.’

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, ”No kidding. I’m a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?’

***

Sent to me by a lawyer friend in Brisbane, Australia

16-17 August: Postcard from The Boat

I write to you this week, not from the Elysian fields of West London, but from a houseboat on The Thames in Chelsea.  The tide is coming in as I write, the boat is rocking gently and I have a bottle of Rioja to my right and cigarettes to my left.

While I have left West London to try out different pastures – hence the houseboat for three weeks – I shall continue to write of the social atrocities of West London Man and his wife Caroline. I want to live on or near water. I have three weeks on the boat to see if I find houseboat life to my taste.  Brighton, however,  continues to interest and I am planning a quick trip to view flats on a short let to see if I like Brighton to live in.

So, here I am – on a Boat on The Thames. It is a fascinating experience.  The houseboats are all ex-WWII landing craft with two story wooden houses (with decks) on top of them.  There are two tides – and the boat sways and rocks gently, sometimes surprisingly vigorously, when the wind is up or the tide is strong.  There is a strong ‘nautical’ and bohemian feel about the whole community of boats.  The houses are much wider than canal narrow boats – and surprisingly spacious. The views are stunning, big sky, water and the comings and goings of disco boats, small yachts, the odd rower, police launches, and wildlife provide mesmerising entertainment.  Sea legs are needed and after but a short spell on the boat, going the 150 yards up to the Kings Road, I found myself staggering slightly on dry land.  It is very different.  I shall relate more of my experiences here as the weeks unfold.

Travelling very light – a few clothes, three computers, shaving kit and a corkscrew, I have enjoyed breakfasts at the Chelsea Bun just off the King’s Road.  Unbelievably, breakfast with coffee at 4.40p is a quid or more cheaper than Chiswick. Provisions are but 200 yards away.

August continues to roll on. The winds and rain of our summer continue to please me, but annoy others, and there is not a great deal of law to write about.  As I do not seem to take holidays, I may use my time on the boat to keep the magazine ticking over each day and blog more.  Team GB is doing rather well in Beijing – but, the Olympics doesn’t interest me.  The tabloids calling for all Team GB  Gold medal winners to be knighted is of interest … as are reports of dastardly deeds and drug taking. Phelps, however, is extraordinary… and as for that guy who bolted from the starting blocks in the 100 metres final… and relaxed when he was ahead – stylish… a degree of brilliance.   The Australians have noted that Britain seems to do well in sports where the athletes sit down – cycling, rowing, sailing, equestrian et al.  As I write, Team GB are third in the medals table, the country has gone medals table obsessed and Lord Sebastian Bore is hyperventilating… so all is good. Maybe we can get even more medals by giving asylum or nationaility to athletes from other countries?  I can’t see Britain spending $40 billion on the olympics – and even if we do through negligence and crap administration, it will, it has to be said, be difficult to follow China.  I am all for shunting the olympics over to Athens, and paying the Greeks to run it – even if they increase pressure to get their marbles back.  We shall get a foretaste of what is to come in the eight minute closing ceremony ‘extravaganza’ produced by Britain when China hands over to us next Sunday. Apropos of absolutely nothing… I would quite like to see British darts players adopting the laser swimming suits as worn by Phelps et al.  Very stylish our darts players would look too.

My apologies for not assuaging your thirst for legal knowledge and news.  I have a mild hangover following a visit to the boat last night of two friends – one of whom swam from the very same boat a year ago across to the other side.  He was, needless to say, juiced when he did it.  It is unlikely that I shall be doing the same.  The Thames River Police Force has quite enough to do without me providing additional work.

I may have a quick kip on deck.. it was a late one last night… and report other news and matters later.

A life on the ocean wave to you?

Best regards as always…

Maestro!….

For one hour and a half I watched, transfixed, as eight celebrities learned the basics of conducting the BBC orchestra for Maestro, produced by BBC 2. I enjoy classical music  – but tonight’s programmme had everything… music, drama, humour and competition.  Peter Snow, Alex James, Sue Perkin, Jane Asher and the truly astonishing ‘natural conductor’ Goldie,  Katie Derham, David Soul and Bradley Walsh, together with the judges and Clive Anderson provided superb enterainment. I rarely enthuse about television reality shows – but this programme was excellent fun to watch and brought home just how difficult conducting is. Thankfully, I was alone – so I could conduct along with the participants! Most enjoyable way to spend an hour and a half – and I wasn’t even mildly over refreshed.  I shall watch all the episodes – and I am sure I won’t be the only conductor manque by the end of the series!

Clifford Chance ramps up savings by offshoring paralegals to India

The Lawyer joins the turning nouns into verbs craze with the headline: ” Clifford Chance ramps up savings by offshoring paralegals to India” and at the same time supports the Indian economy.  The Lawyer reports: “Clifford Chance and Eversheds are considering reducing low-end work ­normally undertaken by trainees and paralegals and farming it out to India. Clifford Chance has embarked on a plan to ramp up its offshore paralegal capacity. This will see its Indian staff handle much of the work that is currently undertaken by London trainees and paralegals – including form 395 ­submissions to register company charges, due ­diligence ­document review for ­litigation, preparing shell company conversions, cloning documents and ­certain low-level drafting.”

This is not, of course, great news for paralegals in London - although Clifford Chance global managing partner David Childs denied that the move would affect trainee numbers in London, calling it the firm’s “principal recruitment source”.  The logical next step would be to ‘offshore’ even more work, get rid of newly qualified lawyers and associates and just leave partners to meet clients in London.  Of course, that would just be ludicrous and far fetched. I mean… why not train Indian lawyers in English law in India and if there are difficulties with practice certificates get the work overseen in London by someone with a practising certificate. But that too, is far-fetched and preposterous.

Eye Spy…. in the papers…  that BPP plc is making a bid for Wilmington Group PLC – they who own Central Law Training, Solicitors Journal and sundry other legal publishing and training projects.  Telegraph

The fascinating world of legal practice as reported in the legal press

Passing an amusing fifteen minutes at lunch on Fritter, which is probably a better name than Twitter, given the amount of time I seem to spend on Twitter late at night, I came across the ‘Tweet’ to the left – an utterly unfascinating piece of information in terms of my needs – but, I presume, endlessly fascinating to those who read these stories.

Inspired by Denton’s desires in Dubai, I decided to nip over to Legal Week and The Lawyer to see what other fascinating headlines I could find. On offer to the legal profession today:

Ward Hadaway continues to build up in… Dutch independent set for London launch Norton Rose boosts IP team with partner… Mishcons seals real estate boost with… | Simpson Thacher gets tough on associates | Zurich institutes crackdown on exaggerated PI claims |  | Eversheds name switch hints at full integration | BAE on cusp of appointing legal counsel for India | Forsters snares four Withers partners

I lost the will to live momentarily. It’s just not my thing…. but I don’t need to know any of this.  I can understand that rainmakers, managing partners and the ‘psyop black art’ departments of leading law firms will read these stories with much interest – on a ‘need to know what the competition is up to’ basis – but who else reads these stories, I wondered to myself?

Judge calls prosecutor illiterate idiot.

The BBC, with one of the few reporters not in Beijing, reports that “An angry judge has branded a prosecution worker an “illiterate idiot” after spotting several spelling mistakes in an indictment. Judge David Paget was reading a list of charges drawn up by Crown Prosecution Service staff at Wood Green Crown Court in north London when he spotted errors. The indictment, which accused a man of assault, included attempted “greivous” bodily harm”

The judge was even less impressed when another charge accused the defendant of using an offensive weapon, “namely axe”, instead of “an axe”.

The BBC notes that the judge finally lost it and “Throwing the paper down on his bench, Judge Paget added: “It’s quite disgraceful. This is supposed to be a centre of excellence. To have an indictment drawn up by some illiterate idiot is just not good enough.”

Good stuff… our profession prides itself on spelling and the debate on the correct spelling of judgement / judgment, as in delivering a ‘judgment’, continues.

The judge is right, of course.  Before you know it we’ll all be speaking French again if we allow grammarlouts to ruin our language. Some say… that English is just French spoken and written badly…..

My thanks to Infobunny on Twitter for alerting me to this story.