I can’t eat any more free lunches….

******,

Thank you for yet another unsolicited email invitation to lunch – and follow up enquiring why I am not already lunching with you on a regular basis. The truth of the matter is that after reading about John Prescott’s difficulties, I appear to have decided that I, too, must get an eating disorder of some kind. I really don’t need any more of your complimentary lunch invitations. I do hope you will understand… and be understanding. I am not size zero yet…. But I am working on it.

Also… I am obliged to give you this written warning under the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, currently going through the UK Parliament – and I do so now: I am the first UK law blogger cloned under this remarkable legislation and I should warn you that I am part Zebra and part lawyer…. Unfortunately, I missed out on the ‘human’ part of this experiment. Would 500 quid be a completely outrageous amount for me to charge you to attend your lunch? I’ll be there for at least 30 minutes…. Possibly longer if you could mix some hay or tasty morsels of grass or perhaps a bit of Caesar salad in with the fois gras… that I am partial to. I leave to you the choice of wine… so long as it is red… with a bit of body and does the business.

Best wishes

Charon QC

http://charonqc.wordpress.com/

THE INVITATION TO LUNCH

On 22/5/08 10:57, “*****_ ******” <seminars@****.com> wrote:

I recently invited you to lunch to discuss how to take ‘s events, surveys, and marketing campaigns to the next level. Please join me for a complimentary lunch and educational seminar hosted by *****, the leading provider of online software tools in the events and surveying industries.

We can discuss how you can accomplish the following:

EVENTS –> Increase attendance and reduce expense:

3 thoughts on “I can’t eat any more free lunches….

  1. “…after reading about John Prescott’s difficulties, I appear to have decided that I, too, must get an eating disorder of some kind.”

    Brilliant.

    Though admittedly you’re not someone I picture as gluttenous (is that a word?), unless maybe wine is involved? x

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