New Year’s Eve…

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
a stately pleasure-dome decree,
where Alph, the sacred river, ran
through caverns measureless to man
down to a sunless sea,
so twice five miles of fertile ground
with walls and towers were girdled round.
and there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
where blossom’d many an incense-bearing tree.
And here were forests as ancient as the hills,
enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

The famous poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge has been (and still is) interpreted in many different ways – but it has been in my life since my schooldays; the meaning developing, the pleasure it brings changing – and I thought of it tonight, the last night of a strange year, a year I am glad to see pass into time.

Have a good New Year…. I am staying in tonight at The Staterooms – a bottle of Rioja is open and I have poured a glass. I am listening to Verdi and see no need to go out :-)

I may return for a final post this year… but I am composing for the 7th January. At the moment I have cannon to the right and cannon to the left and a lot of horses riding towards destiny. Seemed a good metaphor tonight. Whether it will survive the cold January light…. for publication on the 7th… who knows?

***

Have a good 2008.

?

HTNOM TSRIF EHT FO YAD HTHGIE EHT NO GNIGWALB MORF ERITER YAM I

ITJDE PEXND SOKNW HEZTH ERUMY RIPOJ ASYUP PLWYL AKSTS

And… no… I haven’t been hitting the juice. (It does make sense…. eventually) No prize… but what am I saying? Any budding Bonds…. Spooks out there?

***

PS… I have also managed to place myself on The Blawg Review World Map…. unfortunately… I managed to type “Charoron QC” – but maybe that is appropriate this evening. Hopefully it can be edited!

Place yourself on Blawg Review’s World Map?: Click here

Saturday Review: Corruption free New Year Honours edition…

I survived the night after my bout of bird ‘flu and walked down to the Hothouse Cafe for espresso and a read of the papers. This morning it was – The Mirror and The Independent. It was still dark, but it usually is at this time of year when I go for breakfast.

A quick check through the 2007 Honours list confirmed my worst suspicions… that all the fuss earlier in the year about “Cash for Honours” has meant that there will be no visit to the Palace, there will be no “Arise, Sir Charon” moment this year …. but, as we say down at The Bollo… each time we raise a fresh glass and toast the government binge-drinking watchdogs… honi soit qui mal y pense… (Old French: shame upon him who thinks evil of it)

I still like the response by Keith Richard when Sir Mick Jagger got his knighthood: “I’m not going on stage with someone wearing a coronet and ermine”… or words to that effect. It is, of course, quite possible that Keith added colour to this statement with an expletive… my memory may be at fault. The BBC reported at the time: “Richards said he doubted he would be offered an honour “because they know what I would’ve said… they knew I’d tell them where they could put it.”

Always did like Keith Richards… still do…. Moving on….

It has been a quiet time over Christmas for UK Blawgers. I did manage to get a podcast in with Geeklawyer (infra). He then decided to do his own ‘Urbi et Orbi’ and capped his posting off this week with this wonderful pic of French rugby players.

InformationOverlord informs that the Library of Congress has decided to re-classify Scots literature as ‘English’. You would think that the US had enough PR problems in the world without pissing off the Scots. Surely the CIA knows that Scotland is not English?

Family Lore has rather suprising news that disgraced barrister, Bruce Hyman, sentenced to 12 months prison on 19th September, was seen at a party before Christmas. Surprising indeed. The bloggers formerly known as Belle de Jure and Lawyer2B are back with ‘Reductio ad absurdum’ - keeping Latin alive.

So… not much to report on this front this week. I am hosting Blawg Review on 7th January – the first of 2008. Working on a theme… Please post a comment on this post if you wish to be included in my review…. no fee required…

J Dan Hull of What About Clients? has raised the game for blawgers with his own Christmas Video message. I wiped away a tear on this one… AND… What About Clients? is up for an award… against the Wall Street Journal. May I ask you to vote for WAC?… as I am sure they would like to win . I have voted… Unfortunately… it is only possible to vote once. Vote before 2nd January deadline… but as you may well be unable to do so on 1st January because you will be at the gym, not smoking, not drinking, not doing anything unhealthy… you may have to vote before 1st January: Vote Here…. for What About Clients?

POSTSCRIPT: I am not an American… so do not follow the subtle nuances of US politics. I have just discovered that Dan’s Christmas message is his parody of a US politician’s Christmas message. Good one, Dan…. like a bit of irony. Still enjoyed the vlog though! US readers of Dan’s blawg would, of course, have picked up on this.

***

I go now… to a place of quiet reflection… to consider how best I may live my life in the new year… I had a long look in the drinks cabinet and found that I need to buy some more Rioja… I must have been burgled over Christmas.

I have been poleaxed…

I read tonight… that not content with giving a knighthood to Parkinson, those who dispense these things, now that we can’t buy them anymore, may be adding ‘interest’ to the list with a surprise award for Tim Henman. Telegraph story

***

I have got bird flu – and, news of a possible knighthood for ‘Tiger Tim’, hero to evangelical strawberry eaters each year at Wimbledon, was just too much for me to cope with in my temporarily weakened state. I am returning to my futon… Hopefully, I will make it through the night – but if I don’t blog for a few days, please telephone the West London Police Community Support Officer control desk and ask them to break in. Please make sure you tell them I should not be cremated. The amount of Rioja inside me could cause an embarrassing explosion at the crematorium.


Boxing Day…

Issac Newton was born on the 25th December (under the Julian calendar then in use), a birth celebrated by fellow UK blawger and rational man, John Bolch of Family Law on his blog this Christmas Day.

One of Isaac Newton’s most important laws was the Universal Law of Gravitation: F = Gm1m2 / r2. I keep it in mind, John, when I open every bottle of Rioja…. and so to the business of Boxing Day and the days before the enforced bacchanalia of New Year’s Eve.

The Sun discloses, today, when the news seemed to be dominated by an escaped tiger killing and mauling people in the US, that Michael Parkinson will become ‘Sir Chatalot’ in the New Year Honours list. The Sun was also able to entertain their readers with the news from New Zealand that a “A 50-STRONG gang of rampaging drunken Santas ransacked a cinema frightening customers, damaging property and swearing.”

‘Judge not Tony Blair, for he is like St Paul’

While I prefer the richandmark.com take on this from Guido Fawkes’ blog I was astonished to read an article in The Times on Christmas Eve. Canon Timothy Russ, who guided Blair ‘on his path to Rome’ called on Catholics ‘who resented Mr Blair because of his voting record on abortion and stem cell research to remember the example of the Christian Church’s greatest Apostle, St Paul, a key figure in spreading the message of Christianity.’

The Church, of course, has a long record of absolving sinners and acccepting repenters into their faith. Head of Legal writes that he heard “Alastair Campbell on BBC News 24 saying he didn’t know whether constitutionally a catholic could be Prime Minister, his tentative implication being that that might have been one reason why Blair didn’t convert while in office.”

Head of Legal points out that while The Monarch cannot be a catholic, there is freedom of religion for MPs.

UK Blawgers appear to have shut down for Christmas – with the notable exception of Geeklawyer who decided he would give his own Christmas Broadcast. Even leading US blawg What About Clients? went dark for one day….save to wish everyone a Happy Christmas. Victorian Maiden managed to draw herself away from Tucker’s charms to watch a soccer match. Ruthie is trying on her new wig in time for the January 2nd change in court dress rules to allow solicitor-advocates to be wigged in court. Reactionary Snob, Edinburgh advocate, manages to draw himself away from the claret to reflect on the mud slinging about sleaze between Tory and Labour politicians.

And finally… for this evening:

“Don’t suffer from PTSD, go out and cause it,”

BOISE – Idaho’s newest police officers are not being trained to inflict post-traumatic stress, the head of officer training for the state says, despite a slogan to that effect that was featured prominently in the program for the latest police academy graduation. Story

Christmas…

Without in any way wishing to upstage The Queen, who is now vlogging on YouTube, I thought I would have a few glasses of Rioja at The Bollo (open for the first time this year on Christmas Day for a few hours) and see what happened….

I see that Geeklawyer, podcasting with me but two days ago, managed to have an ‘urbi et orbi’ moment last night upon his return from revels and has spoken to the Nation.


I have eaten my mince pie… I may well return to the scene of my blawg crimes later… Merry Christmas…

I tried my best to deliver your Christmas presents….

I was alone at The Bollo with a lot of other alone people…. We shared wine… the wind made it extremely difficult to smoke outside…and… I just could not watch My Fair Lady and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

And then…. the AngelGabriel.com delivered unto me… an email from Ed of Blawg Review.

Subject: Re: That’s “bling” mate…
Date: 24 December 2007 21:59:25 GMT

I had to reply….

Happy Christmas…. Ed of Blawg Review,

Thank ‘God’ you wrote to me. It is difficult being alone at this time of year. (Actually… it is marvellous.)

The current Archbishop of Canterbury Tales, Rowan Williams… has managed to get a piece in The Times about all the ‘god fearing, binge drinking Britons’ who are going to be turning up at midnight tonight in Church of England churches to find and have ‘communion’ with God. (The Times).

The only Archbishop in the Village seems to think that this reveals a surge in support for ‘God’ and a move away from those inconvenient people who enjoyed reading Richard Dawkins book ‘The God Delusion”… and have a more science based take on life and death.

Not even the Lib-Dems are that brazen with statistics and belief. (Editorial Note: For US, other overseas readers…and most English readers: The Liberal Party still exists, despite the hard work done by Jeremy Thorpe (Rinka the dead dog/ Norman Scott), Paddy Ashdown (The ‘Pantsdown’ saga), Charles Kennedy (‘Seriously over-refreshed’ drinker, bon viveur and smoker who diced with death by hanging out of train windows to smoke to avoid the smoking ban), Sir Ming Cambell (No salesman called because he was just too old to merit a free carriage clock with the sensibly priced insurance to pay for the coffin)… and now they have elected someone who appears to be rather like ‘Private Pike’ in Dad’s Army.

My own rather jaded analysis… but thankfully, I got bail….is less prosaic (I only do ‘prosaic’ when I am on duty). Many in Britain will go to Church tonight because of their beliefs and faith… but, after closing time… others will also pile in …. because they like a bit of karaoke at this time of year…. ‘Once in Royal David Beckhams’ City’… “Away on a Bender” … “What I really, really, want for Christmas” … and…then they will go off for a kebab.

Unfortunately…. I’ve got to go… I’ve just looked at my watch… it is 10.00 pm in Britain… and I haven’t managed to deliver any presents at all tonight.

When I agreed to do ‘Blawg Review’ on January 7th 2008… that was fine… it was just a bridge too far to agree to be Britain’s Father Christmas in 2007… I really did not want to disappoint… which is why I ‘outsourced’ it to Royal Mail….. Two Million presents won’t be delivered in Britain this Christmas, apparently. Not good. Thank God I was not greedy and didn’t go global with my Father Christmas franchise this year. I just hope the French will understand.

Sorry… but I just can’t drink and drive a sleigh tonight… and Rudolph has just been detained without trial for 28 days…Have a good one…

Podcast 35: Geeklawyer…

Today I am talking to Geeklawyer, IP lawyer, blogger, mead drinker and biker. No doubt, he will be able to add to the list. He has been able to put his skills as an advocate to good use on his blawg; describing, fellow blogger Dan Hull of What About Clients? as a “…a depraved evil sociopathic neocon…a beast pretending he loves his clients merely to get into their wallets.”

Most recently, Geeklawyer has been appearing naked in front of judges. He writes on his blog that he was rung up at home by a High Court judge a while ago. It was a profoundly unnerving experience. He had just got out of the bath and was naked, not being accustomed to bathing with any clothes on. The phone rang.

Usually I have some idea where my podcasts will go… today I have absolutely no idea…. Good morning Geeklawyer. I have a glass of Rioja to my right and you will hear me setting fire to Silk Cut cigarettes as the podcast progresses.

Listen to Podcast 35: Geeklawyer

Saturday Review: Christmas Edition 2007 Part II…

As we edge ever closer to the festival of mammon and excess, Saturday 22nd was the Winter Solstice – the shortest day – I have had a ‘Damascus’ moment. I am a news junkie… I am addicted to blogging. I even managed to exceed John Bolch’s Family Lore score of 62% on an ‘Are you addicted to blogging’ quiz. I found myself at lunchtime today, sitting outside The Bollo, enjoying a glass of Rioja, reading The Guardian. I have absolutely no idea why I read the article in the ‘Space’ section on “How can I clean my Edwardian tiles?” I don’t have Edwardian tiles at The Staterooms. I now know how to clean them, however…. and so… to Part II of my Christmas Edition of Saturday Review…

First up is the extraordinary story in The Guardian about historian David Starkey’s astonishing attack on HM The Queen. Starkey states that the “Queen is poorly educated and philistine’.

The Queen is now the oldest Monarch we have ever had. Starkey (pic from www.royal.gov.uk), who has his own TV series on the British monarchy, is not that impressed by the present monarch. In fact, he states: ” I think she’s got elements a bit like Goebbels in her attitude to culture” The Guardian reports that when Starkey was showing The Queen around an exhibition he had curated she seemed more interested in the late arrival of her drink – ‘gin and dubonnet’. Starkey is also dismissive of “sad … hysterical, self-abusing … extraordinarily destructive” Diana. Curiously, Starkey seems to suggest that Prince Charles ‘might be the monarchy’s best hope for survival’.

I raise a toast to ‘The King across the water’ – Jacobus.

Starkey has a CBE – apparently. He has missed the boat on ‘cash for honours’ if he wants an upgrade.

***

What About Clients? reports: “In the last full trading day before Christmas, stocks brought joy to the investment world, delivering the December boost investors had hoped for.”

***

WAC? also noted that Merrill Lynch may be getting a healthy infusion of capital. As I lay on my futon this morning, catching up on World Business News (Sky, BBC, Bloomberg et al), I was almost beside myself with worry about those poor investment bankers. I will rest easy now, and will now enjoy my Christmas mince pie and one glass of Rioja, knowing that the Saudis and Singapore government are sending emergency aid to banks stricken by axis of evil economic terrorists who have destabilised the global banking network with their lending to the sub-prime market

I just could not help but recall the words of the famous Christmas carol… about Good King Wenceslas

“Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about, deep and chopped and even;
Brightly shone the accounts that night, tho’ the Fed was cruel,
When a sub-prime mortgagee came in sight gath’ring winter fuel.”

I may well have to have a Part III… but… I must now go and check how my Northern Rock shares are doing…

Richard III said on Bloomberg tonight: “The world is grown so bad, that wrens make prey where eagles dare not perch”.

***

UPDATE: Reactionary Snob… has a beauty about ‘Cyclops’…. Gordon Brown is certain that the recent problems about data loss, Donorsgate etc etc will soon be lost… sorry, forgotten.

Reactionary Snob then goes on to ask Cyclops: “Are you having a fucking giraffe? I hope you choke on your organic Turkey and stuffing you Fife Cunt. ”

I had not felt ‘Christmassy’ until I read RS’s post…

Saturday Review: Christmas 2007 Edition Part I…

A resourceful German restauranteur has come up with ‘Smoking point’ to enable smokers to remain inside at restaurants and pubs while enjoying a smoke. He has made several holes in the wall of his restaurant.

So… Christmas has arrived. Fortunately, The Bollo has decided to open for three hours on Christmas Day. This absolves me from any need to fiddle about in the kitchen with dead birds. There was some talk of my cousin, Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo, coming over this year – but he picked up an ASBO after a Christmas Church office party last year and is not allowed back in Britain until next year. My brother, Professor R D Charon, has decided to write a treatise, as he calls it, on ‘Jurisprudence in a modern, corrupt and morally bankrupt society’ and has gone to Scunthorpe as a ‘retreat’.

He sent me a card with the inscription: “Dear Charon… “Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.”

I sent his card back to him (a bit of green re-cycling) with the message: “Dear Charon… It may surprise you, but I am familiar with Mark Twain’s aphorism. I rather prefer Oscar Wilde’s take on the matter “Moderation is a fatal thing: nothing succeeds like excess.”

Geeklawyer gets a call from a High Court judge while he is taking a bath. Ruthie sympathises with those who are turned down for Silk.

What About Clients? writes: “One of our Brit friends found this re-occurring post and link below simplistic, shallow, anti-intellectual and apparently just “too American”. And so are obliged to pound it in until the British White cows come home. The advice here, of course, is all those things but – like other ideas and moving parts of American life – it actually works.” Find out what the message is.

I received a Christmas ‘blog comment’ from Alex of IMPACT wishing me a Merry Christmas and suggesting that as I was blawging throughout Christmas the Labour government should compensate me. It must be the Winter Solstice – Friday 22nd December. I replied to Alex’s comment on my last post….

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“Alex – Curiously… I received an anonymous Christmas Card only this morning…. It contained a £20 note… I cannot believe for one moment that a political party is sending me money…. I think it may have been from a Great Aunt… she likes to make anonymous gifts. As you will appreciate, at my age, it is unlikely that I would have a ‘Great Aunt’ still alive. I remember sending her P V Baker QC’s great work Snell on Equity’ * many years ago – with a bookmark at the page on secret trusts. She was much taken with that section of the book. Thankfully, she never got to grips with Re Vandervell” [* Now edited by those who came after PV Baker QC - I still have that famous edition...]

Guido Fawkes is concerned that Peter Hain should not delay in releasing information about his anonymous donations. It struck me, reading Guido Fawkes’ blog – that this blog (and many other blogs) was a very good example of Web 2.0 in terms of a degree of freedom from commercial publishers – and may well appeal to Nick Holmes of Binary Law: “Blogging is the most successful and relevant Web 2.0 network and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”

And.. I have no hesitation whatsoever in giving a very real and belated ‘hat tip’ to Nick Holmes’ InfoLaw site and Delia Venables – The web link resource for UK Law – for their remarkable work in collating information and analysis on UK centric web resources – since the mid 1990s. (Do not be put off by the pre Web 1.0 look and feel of Delia’s remarkable website – it is a mine of information and covers everything ‘ab initio’ as lawyers used to say.) Blogroll time for this one… ?

And finally…. I have just received an email from WebCameron (now integrated into the Conservative website: see new URL) to let me know that I do not need to worry about David Cameron troubling me over Christmas – because he is in China. [Editor Note: Charon is not a Cameron Conservative - he became over refreshed one night some time ago and subscribed to WebCameron. It is highly unlikely that Charon will be applying to become a Tory candidate for an Ealing constituency. Charon wonders, via a text from a bar in West London, if Simon Heffer will be pleased at this development.]

In the same email, I discovered that The Tories are delighted that Nick “Cameron-Lite” Clegg has been elected as leader of the Lib-Dems. I quote from the email: “Caroline Spelman congratulated him on his appointment, and said she hoped it would lead to greater co-operation between us and them.”

Dear God…a hung Parliament… with the Ant & Dec of the Conservative party teaming up with Nick Clegg who reminds me of the daft Private Pike in Dad’s Army. No wonder the rest of Europe, after removing all border posts in Schengen Europe (UK and Ireland are not ‘Schengens’), are not that bothered what we do in our sceptred isle. We just think they are.

It is, of course, a delicious irony – that we, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (according to my red EU passport) are not members of ‘Schengen’, still maintain borders, but have absolutely no idea where our illegal immigrants are – apart from that poor chap, an illegal working as a security guard at the Home Office, who is now the focus of Home Office attention. (Infra)

Man who is born of woman etc etc… has but a short time to live and a short memory - but there was a story in The Times only a few days ago (18th December) about the security guard who, although cleared by the SIA to be a guard, did not actually have the right to work because he was an ‘illegal immigrant’. I quote from The Times: “Emergency checks were being carried out on all security staff at the Home Office last night after the department admitted that an illegal immigrant had been employed guarding its London headquarters.”

The Times reports that the latest, of many Labour Home Secretaries, was ‘beyond incandescent’ at this news. The illegal in question, The Times continues, “has been arrested and is now subject to deportation action. “ – which means he will probably turn up as a traffic warden somewhere soon because we aren’t very good at deporting people.

Diamondprotection.co.uk provide security. They are flexible and even provide a range of uniforms. Should appeal to Gordon Brown with his “British jobs for British workers” spiel. I rather like the idea of security guards, more used to providing a degree of common sense and security at clubs, pubs and late night drinking establishments (using the old red rope on a portable stand unit), guarding our government offices. Trouble is… I just have a feeling The Home Office will forget to specify the ‘dress code’ and provide a guest list and we’ll have reports in the The Sun / The Mirror et al that Jacqui Smith was refused entry to her own office.

I am now going to retire… I am singing “Who do you think you are… Mr Cameron…” to the Dad’s Army tune. Such is life….

Tomorrow… I’ll continue with my Saturday review… given that it is still Friday….

Gute Nacht… as we say in parts of Schengen Europe….


A personal statement…

Britain will be closed for the next two and a half weeks because of Christmas. I have therefore decided, with some reluctance, to spend more time with my blawg and take a break from the onerous responsibility of writing about matters legal. Holed up in my Staterooms (I have a mince pie in the fridge and sufficient stock of Rioja in the larder for the great day and the Queen’s speech). I’ll be writing throughout the Christmas period – but not about Law. For those of you who need to do a ‘bit of law’ over this period there are websites out there, or you could look at some cases on the HM Court Service website or visit the websites maintained by the newly named regulatory bodies: SRA / BSB. I can also recommend The Legal Services Act 2007. It has plot, pace and enough in it to provide angst, tension and satisfaction.

My last post on our beautiful game for 2007 is a story worthy of Dickens. It comes from The Sun: HEATHER MILLS faces a £2million court scrap with HER divorce lawyers – but has vowed to fight their “extortionate” bill.

According to The Sun, leading law firm Mischon de Reya, with a team of six charging an hourly rate £500 (The Sun figures), are about to issue their bill for £2 million. You may recall that Heather Mills sacked her lawyers / Her Lawyers sacked her after her extraordinary appearance on GMTV some time ago. The Sun takes up the story: ” A pal of Heather said last night: “She has been employing Mishcon for 20 months so it works out at £100,000 a month.Did Mishcon need a team of six, each earning £500 an hour, to fight her case?”

The Sun has been able to talk to a legal source about this: “It was her choice to hire one of the country’s most high-profile lawyers.”

The Sun ends its coverage of this breaking story with: “If the High Court writ is successful it could result in the ex-porn star being declared bankrupt.”

Oh… and finally… since it has a bit of law in it. Geeklawyer gets a phonecall from a High Court judge while he is in the bath. He puts his wig on to take the call. (Some strong language / imagery)

Christmas office parties…

Tonight I walked into my usual watering hole for a quick glass of wine. It was full of unpleasantly pissed office party goers, many of whom were shouting shit at each other. Profanity and grunts and loud lewd male bonding laughter. I stood at the bar to order a drink. A man with a shaven head was having difficulty with fairly simple words and sentence structures. “Look..mate… mate look” seemed to be the limit of his ability… but then he said “Fucking fuck, mate look at that one” referring to an attractive young woman who had walked in with her boyfriend for the evening shift of office parties. Simian mate, demonstrating how close in DNA we are to primates and bananas, leered at the girl, predictably made some reference to ‘giving her one’ and then these extras from Planet of The Apes roared at each other with laughter.

They’ll probably be OK by the time they get home, after parking tigers in the road en route. Not so much a case of how to throw a good Christmas party…. more a case of how to throw up at a Christmas party.

Obviously, I am looking forward to the end of the office parties :-)

The beautiful game…

I must make it clear that I know nothing about football.  The new England manager/coach does know a lot about football – but he doesn’t spika da English too good.  He says he will learn it in a month.

Kelvin Mackenzie, writing in The Sun, reports: ” Capello says he will have mastered English in a month. That’s rubbish. He will be lucky to put two sentences together by the eve of our friendly on February 6 (after all, Jamie Carragher, the Liverpool defender, hasn’t mastered English yet and he’s 29).”

Mackenzie, settling into his rant, continues:

“At best Capello will speak pidgin English. How can he explain the nuances of tactics when he can’t even spell nuance? What will he do? Point at Rooney and then point at the goal? Point at Robinson and then point at the ball? Point at Lampard and then point at his penis? It’s a farce. The No 2 — who by the way is 70 — will be bloody lucky to be alive by the time the next World Cup takes place.”

Looks like we are going to be looking at 1966 World Cup footage for some time.

 

 

Beggaring belief… again…

David Cameron, after laying into Labour on “Donorsgate” for not knowing what is going on in their back yard, now has the embarrassment of not knowing what is going on in his back yard; giving Labour an opportunity to do a bit of “It beggars belief” in return.

The Sun reports: “DAVID Cameron was plunged into a funding row last night after accepting £7,400 of unlawful donations. The Conservative leader was forced to surrender the cash because the donors were NOT on the electoral roll. The money was given to the local party in his constituency of Witney, Oxfordshire, by two businessmen four months ago.”

Up pops Hazel Blears….

Cabinet minister Hazel Blears told Sky News: “David Cameron sets a really high bar on these issues and he says it beggars belief that Gordon Brown did not know that was going on. “I just think it beggars belief that David Cameron didn’t know what was going on in his own backyard.”

In the meantime, newly elected Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg states earnestly: “Renewed ambition for the Lib Dems, renewed ambition to reach out to the millions of people who I know share our instincts and values but do not yet vote for us.”

Well..there we are.

***

 

John Bolch, over at Family Lore, has been having an “It beggars belief” rant about creationism.

 

 

 

 

The wonder of Facebook…

I woke this morning to an email informing me that I had a message on my Facebook. I have been invited “qua Charon” to attend a law school law student dinner and network with the students. Excellent. I am looking forward to it.

The President of The Law Society (at the university) who invited me reads my blog…

Gordon Brown lost…

In a statement to the House tonight, Jack Straw told MPs that the government has now lost Gordon Brown. The courier company contracted to deliver Brown to Portugal to sign the EU Treaty, after delivering him late, has admitted they have absolutely no idea where he is. Police are calling off their search for 25 million HM Revenue & Customs records and are now scouring rubbish dumps to find the Prime Minister.

The Chav Nativity…

A friend sent me this the other day… I posted it and then took it down, intending to put it in my Saturday review…. but I could not do a Saturday review… so here it is. Catherine Tate, I am told. You may not have seen it….

***

THE CHAV NATIVITY:

There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?) She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like ‘Oo ya lookin at?’ Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’ Mary’s totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!’

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself. Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that. She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an’ that we are gonna get.’ Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’
Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an’ Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that.
But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They’re like ‘Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’ myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?’

It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer. He’s like ‘The police is comin an’ they’re killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey’. Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your look out if you stay.’

So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s safe an’that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.

Sunday Review: 16 December

I was not able to do a Saturday review…

Lord Falconer, Head of Legal reports, is against the extension of detention to 42 days. The Attorney General of the web is puzzled about this death bed conversion and speculates on whether Falconer has sorted out his pension ‘issues’.

Geeklawyer gets mauled by a Leopard – but LawMinx thought he was getting married to a Leopard. Such is the life of UK Law blawgers. By a bizarre co-incidence it appears that both Ruthie and VM are suffering from some strange illness. Reactionary Snob plans to do some fisking about Straw’s statements on liberty doing well under the last decade of Labour leadership. Pupillage Chronicles finds out that there is ‘never a right way of doing things’. Lo-fi Librarian reflects on facebook Whales. Consilio has two new Editors: Richard Ramsay and Peter Groves. Both are prolific writers. Richard Ramsay completed a magnum opus on the Neuberger report (See Consilio) and has developed a taste for unusual outfits.

If you want to know more about the Legal Services Act, Consilio and LegalTraining.TV did a televised broadcast (Free to view) and you may watch the film here.

I do wish you a Merry Christmas…. below | Or click here if you don’t like scrolling.