Charon M.D. talks to smokers direct…

Charon MD is one of Charon’s brothers…. we are not close and his latest photograph (Left) did not help me when I tried to identify him when he rang the doorbell at my Staterooms in West London. However… I am pleased to see him and… this is what he has to say:

I am conscious (but only just… for other reasons) that many of you will be contemplating the question as to whether you should quit smoking tomorrow – when the ban on smoking comes into force at 6.00 am on Sunday 1st July.

As a lifelong smoker myself, I am equipped to give advice on this. I should make it clear that ‘lifelong’ may be an exaggeration… but given that my Mother smoked during the very act of conception (of course she didn’t….) it is not unreasonable for me to make this claim, even though I did not start inhaling directly, through smoking a cigarette, until I was 15. The fact that I happen to spend my time operating on people and dispensing prescriptions to malingerers is neither here nor there and, as my brother Charon the blawger advises… “nothing in what follows should be constituted as the giving of actionable advice, nor be relied on and, as you are not actually paying me a fee, you should consult your own doctor for specific advice about your own particular smoking problem.”

Smoking is one of the great pleasures in life – to those of us who enjoy living life on the edge. I am reminded of Wendy Liebman’s quote: “People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them… Well, it’s killing me!”

But then of course we have a rather odd quote from Brooke Shields: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” This is the Paris Hilton school of thinking.

One wanders how the course of World war II would have gone if Churchill’s private cigar stock had been destroyed when Dunhill was bombed during WW II. This is what Churchill had to say: “My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.”

And now, to the question of advice: The only truly effective way to stop smoking is to stop. You can spend money on hypnosis. You can buy patches, plastic cigarette holder style nicotine replacement inhalers, try Zyban (But see a Doctor first on this one) or you can lie to yourself and pretend that you have given up.

Here is a stop smoking advice site

I hope my advice has been helpful. I leave you with this quote from Bill Hicks, an American comedian: “Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body – as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?”

I shall, together with Charon the blawger, be outside in God’s air… smoking with all the others, bagging all the outside seating in pub gardens and directing non-smokers to the spare seating and tables inside. In the winter I shall simply wear a smoking jacket and Homburg hat) … and, you never know… I may just meet someone interesting while I am out there, while my non-smoking friends sit inside watching our coats.

I shall, of course, be on the look out for smug non-smokers who start gloating. Smokers are law abiding. We shall, I am fairly sure, obey the ban… but we are still, I hope, militant enough to respond to gloating by non-smokers? It is somewhat ironic that smokers will now reclaim the great outdoors as their own 🙂

Oh… and finally… let George Bernard Shaw have the last word: “If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog”

10 thoughts on “Charon M.D. talks to smokers direct…

  1. Whilst smoking in the English rain I shall console myself with this quote from Michelle Pfeiffer: “I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker…. but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.”

  2. Why were you thinking of Bill Wyman? Keith Richards would’ve been a more appropriate Stone for this post. My God, what will Keef do once the smoking ban begins?

    Strawberry jelly. Shall I send some over to the Bollo?

  3. Strawberry?… excellent… one of my favourites… I am smoking and drinking Rioja with the girlfriend of the Bollo manager (a smoker)… and strawberry jelly would be most useful!

  4. I’ll be joining you outside, and the ‘smug non-smokers’ may well have clean air, but they will be lacking interesting and stimulating company.

    Soulless lot.

    I hope they have the good grace to provide us with one of those outside heaters for the really cold winter months.

  5. Belle de Jure…. good to have you comment … I am sitting here at the Bollo… still…. in good company… doing a final ‘smokeathon’….

    Tomorrow… the lights will go out all over England… and I will rise… and start to put towels on all the seats outside the Bollo…. just to be sure of getting a space.

    It is, perhaps, graceless to mention it… but my days at a public school detention centre in Scotland (13-18)…. has equipped me with many benefits and advanatges (for which I am grateful)… but… most importantly.. the ability to withstand the cold! Also… it has to be said.. my circulatioin is probably so knackered that I no longer know if I feel cold… and, for all I know… my legs may be about to drop off.

    I don’t spend a great deal of time looking at my legs… I have few vices… and vanity, for good reason, is not one of them….

    Was it Titus Oates who said… as he left the enclosed public place…. all those years ago … “I may be gone for some time” ?

  6. Hello All,

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