cricket, contronyms and rioja…

England’s cricketers laughing at their inept, lamentable, pathetic and truly appalling performance in the Cricket World Cup against South Africa ? (SA played good cricket).

I have lost the will to live… but I can’t keep killing myself off. I don’t care how overpaid footballers perform… I am no longer interested in the procession which Formula 1 has become, nor do I care, overmuch, about the chatterers chattering about house prices and bank rates. BUT I do care about cricket… and have been disowned by my clan in ‘Soon to be Independent Scotland’ (Ridiculous) because (a) I live in England and (b) because I support England when they play cricket. I listened to England v South Africa this afternoon while I worked. I saw the interval highlights on TV at 6.00… Jesus H…. what were the England batsmen doing out there? I can’t bear to watch England bowl… South Africa are only chasing 155. Shouldn’t take them long… but… who knows? … our bowlers may save the day? I just have a feeling they won’t. Why is most English sport based on struggling? Why can’t we just go out and shaft the opposition for a change?

I made the mistake of looking at the BBC cricket website…..

4th over: SA 37-0
Watching Saj in action is enough to make grown men cry – and so let my tears fall onto the keyboard to type the following words: 14 off the over, including two smashers of fours from AB.

Freddie has just bowled a fast ball. Batsman missed…unfortunately, so did our wicket keeper – four more runs for SA as the ball sped to the boundary… excellent!

I had to have one more peek…

6th over: SA 54-0
Vaughan turns to Flintoff like a drowning man grasping desperately at a passing pedalo. Smith licks his lips and drives him straight down the ground for four, before both AB and Badger Nixon miss a vicious in-cutter. Four byes, and Flintoff stares skywards. At the same stage, England had scored seven.

I am going to order a bottle of Rioja and drink it now… I am giving you this little bit of wisdom – found on the net:

A synonym is a word that means the same as another. An antonym is a word that means the opposite of another. A contronym is a word that, by some freak of language evolution, are their own antonyms.

Three examples:

  • cleave – separate, adhere / clip – fasten, detach / consult – ask for advice, give advice.

Yes… I’ll be shoehorning this knowledge into the conversation when my guest arrives…

Now… for something completely different. You have probably not heard a group of 60 – 100 year olds (“The Zimmers’) singing The Who classic ‘My Generation’…well, neither had I until this dark night … but I have now seen this excellent video on You Tube!

Yes… excellent Rioja this… I shall continue… undaunted.

Yes… things are improving. I have just damned myself to the eternal fires of hell for ‘infernal blogging’.

Visit www.youaredamned.com if you wish to damn someone… improved my mood… I was going to put the England Cricket Team up for damnation. I feel sure the tabloids will do this for us tomorrow. You will find me down there… if you search. Takes a bit of working out. Try carriage return after inserting data!

And finally…for this post. If you need a better job… you may find this Job Recruitment site ‘enlightening.’

I leave you with this final quote from the BBC cricket website… because I really have to get on now with this Rioja.

14th over: SA 115-1

“South Africa in desperate trouble – almost 50 runs still needed, and just 37 overs in which to get them. Lose another wicket now and they’re toast.”

Update 2300 Hrs – yes… we lost…(Spectacularly: as our French friends across La Manche might say… a ‘tour de farce’) but… I had a most enjoyable evening…. I am pleased to report that I was not bowled, stumped, run out or even caught….. Charon is ‘not out’.

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