Santa gets busted and other nonsense…

Santa has a white Christmas : quite an amusing video animation if you have a few minutes: click here

As usual, on a Saturday morning, I was eating breakfast, sipping espressos and reading the papers. Richard Hammond’s column in the Mirror amused me. He was having a rant about all the ‘specialist’ food shops which are springing up in trendy parts of London. He wrote about the absurdity of going into a butcher who sold ‘rare breeds’ of lamb. Great idea – eat one! Yes… that appealed to my mind this morning, which operates quite independently of the rest of my body on Saturday mornings.

I haven’t quite got the Christmas spirit this year… possibly because of global warming, but I came across this earlier today which went some way to compensating…

This must be one of the most imaginative law suits in recent years…

“Pro se litigant George Allen Ward is suing Arm & Hammer and its corporate parent, Church & Dwight, for $425 million. His theory of liability: failure to warn. The company failed to warn him that if he cooked up THEIR PRODUCT, baking soda, with cocaine, he might end up serving a 200-month prison sentence on crack cocaine charges.

This is just the beginning; the whole complaint is genius. It’s strangely compelling, and it gets better with every page. Also, we think it might fly in the Ninth Circuit”

This is worth looking at on the blog I found it on.

Dumbass story: “A robbery at a Git-N-Go Convenience Store on the south side of Des Moines on Thursday morning was called off for lack of convincing theatrics.

“Well, I could tell he didn’t have a gun,” said Terry Cook, a clerk at the store at 2140 S.E. Park Ave. “I knew it was his finger. I could see his thumb sticking out of his coat pocket.”

The would-be robber, who acted tough and even inserted a harsh expletive in his demand for cash, wanted to argue. It is a gun, he told Cook. No it isn’t, Cook said.”

*

I find it reassuring that members of our Royal family are familiar with guns.

And just to show that F***wits are taking over in Britain… here is a story about Christmas Health & Safety which shows just how bad the nanny state is getting… Story Source: The Telegraph

For the first time in more than 250 years, children will not be allowed to carry candles at a cathedral service in case their hair catches fire. There is no record of a child going up in flames since the Christingle service began at Chelmsford Cathedral in 1747. However, children this year will carry fluorescent glow sticks rather than the traditional candles set in oranges.

Eric Pickles, the MP for nearby Brentwood and Ongar, criticised the move yesterday, saying Christmas was becoming homogenised, dull and full of earnestness.

“Eventually, they will work out a way to take all the fun out of Christmas,” he said.

“Health and safety will ban everything. I would be kind of interested to hear when the last time an orange and a candle set fire to a child’s hair.”

3 thoughts on “Santa gets busted and other nonsense…

  1. On candles setting fire to childrens hair. My son (Aged 10) was holding the candle for the Reading of the Gospel at his (Catholic) Church one Sunday. His hair started to catch fire. The priest (v.elderly) didn’t see as he was too busy reading the Gospel, so I stepped out of the pew and snuffed out the small flicker of flames.
    It was sheer coincidence that the lesson ended, as the pungent smell of burnt hiar permeated the Church, “And not a hair of their head shall be harmed” (I kid you not), nor that the recessional hymn contained the refrain “Burn Spirit burn, set my heart on fire”!

  2. Stepehen… Thank you for this excellent response. I can only assume that your son was safe, after you stepped forward? That does seem clear from your post.

    I recall, some years ago, handling (particularly badly) a ‘termination interview’ with a part-timer. I was smoking and the cigarette was very close to my short but, then spiky, hair. I only realised that I had set fire to my hair when one of my colleagues…who was sitting bbeside the employee… pointed this out to me.

    Very impressive… sacking someone while setting fire to one’s hair … c’est la vie. I am sure the employee dined out on this for some time… we gave him a free laptop.. wished him well… not too many bad feelings… I think on that one.

  3. Apropos the Crack litigant: His Gaol library obviously does not contain a copy of *Pleading without tears*. I have never had a days legal training in my life but I could have sharpened it a lot. I just wonder if its an offence to offer unqualified legal assistance outside the jurisdiction. In the UK of course the judge would have no hesitation in wheeling out that deadly combo of Part 24 / Part 3 combined. The guy would have no chance.
    Particularly if he encountered one of Uncle Harry’s consiglieri on Appeal.

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